


twitter family

by doctormissy



Series: twitterverse [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 2026 to be precise, Ace Wensleydale, Adam Young Still Has Powers (Good Omens), Alternate Universe - College/University, Archangels as Siblings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Bisexual Adam, Cameos, Crowley Has a Pet Snake (Good Omens), Denial of Feelings, Gay Warlock, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Married Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Memes, Near Future, Other, POV Outsider, Pining, Professor Aziraphale (Good Omens), Professor Crowley (Good Omens), Social Media, Twitter, Warlock Dowling Joins The Them, YouTube, but fics only ever have professors because no one cares how it actually works, ish, kind of. they're lecturers, lesbian Pepper, no knowledge of lucifer (tv) needed, sabrina spellman is adam's half-sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormissy/pseuds/doctormissy
Summary: down with the patriarchy@peppergaladrielif 11-year-old us saw us now, living in 3 different cities, seeing each other once a month, and sort of gay, depressed & surviving uni thanks to coffee and cheap winepew pew@BRIAN007the apocalypse almost seems unreal now lolOr: it's been eight years since the Nopocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale are still on Twitter, the kids go to university, and it's Adam and Warlock's turn to follow their godparents' example and hopelessly pine for each other.[A sequel to twitter cryptids.]
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Dagon/Michael (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling/Adam Young
Series: twitterverse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592104
Comments: 563
Kudos: 654





	1. I miss the simple days ://

**Author's Note:**

> here we finally are. twitter cryptids part 2, set in 2026. I hope you like it as much as the first one! <3
> 
> now, before we start, let's catch up on the kids because it would take too long to explain in the fic:
> 
> Adam - 18, bi, studies environmental science (the same thing as Anathema) at Oxford, works at a vegetarian bistro  
> Warlock - 18, gay, studies computer science at University of London (with a future specialisation in either game development or VR), works at an escape room and hates is  
> Pepper - 19, lesbian, studies gender studies at LSE, writes articles sometimes, has a girlfriend  
> Wensleydale - 18, ace, studies economics at Oxford, doesn't work, no relationship  
> Brian - 19, straight, is a mechanic apprentice in Reading, drives for Uber Eats, has a girlfriend  
> Trixie - 18, straight, a high school senior, will study art at UCLA from September onwards, does commissions and fanart, no relationship, long-distance friends with the Them
> 
> Adam & Wensley still live in Tadfield and carpool to uni in Adam's car (spoiler alert: Crowley taught him how to drive), Warlock & Pepper & her gf share a flat in London, and Brian moved to Reading (pronounced red-ing for those who don't know; it's like a 20-minute drive to where Tadfield would be) with his family when he was 16. and just a reminder for Americans that they can legally drink at that age in the UK :)

****

**A. J. Crowley** **✔** **️**

65.2K subscribers 

HOME

**Life with My Husband** ► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

Speaking with Welsh & Scottish accents for no reason

7th Anniversary - The Newlywed Game (feat. Anathema Device)

Does my husband know these memes?

Our academia life: teaching is HARD

Valentine’s Day surprise fail

Crowley & Aziraphale answer most-asked questions

**Just Random Things That Don’t Have a Category Yet** ► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

Brighton pranks: a compilation

Yes, I speak 14 languages (+ tips on how to learn quickly)

Funny Antoinette moments

Gluing coins to the pavement + REACTIONS

On genderfluidity and pronouns

Yes, I have a face tattoo: my inks & the stories behind them

**Plants, Snakes & Other Care Tips **► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

Can’t keep an orchid alive? Here’s what you’re doing wrong

5 things snakes really don’t like

5 things snakes like

Herbs to grow in your kitchen

These homemade products will definitely get rid of pests

Cacti? Cactuses? Who cares if you care for them right!

**Cooking & Baking **► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

Meal of the Month: shrimp & chicken paella

Decent meals to make if you have nothing at home

Ancient recipes to try

Scones!

What is it about soup?

Breaking down wines for amateurs

**Beauty Tips for Everyone** ► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

Make-up for men: show off the guyliner!

5 red carpet looks to make from scratch

How to: 6 different plait styles

I dyed my hair purple on a dare

Rainbow palette eyeshadows

Unisex looks anyone can rock

**History Uncovered** ► ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀʟʟ

10 centuries of fashion

Rare Victorian photography you’ve never seen before

Things you didn’t know about Romans

How accurate are mediaeval fantasy films?

On queer erasure & whitewashing in history

The secrets of Ancient Egypt

* * *

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
imagine being a part of crowley’s fanbase before he became youtube famous as well

**monica** @moneyca  
right

**I miss b99** @adhdbisexuall  
we are the people who Know™

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
what brought the nostalgia on?

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
 _@carmenekwensi_ binging his videos for hours on end cos… thesis due next week… anita has anxiety…

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
you know, it’s really funny that here he’s the #TwitterCryptids demon but in his videos he gives no sign he’s anything but a human who knows a lot of things and it’s CONFUSING

**Lucy Ferrera** @lucyfer  
 _@smol_potato_ and even if the youtube people follow him here they think it’s another one of his pranks jfsfskc

**🍕** **pizza** **🍕** @pepperony  
ikr? he’s fucking with people on purpose

**Connor** @28connor  
obviously, he’s a demon 😁😁

**in your dreams** @cannoli_oli  
those people out there really still think he’s exaggerating and using his History Teacher Knowledge when he literally showed photos he and aziraphale took in the 19th century once like calm down nonbeliever karens who subbed for the recipes

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
have you SEEN the anniversary video tho they know literally EVERYTHING about each other not even heather and I are so #goals dammit

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
can u believe it’s already been 7 years

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
NO

**emo prince** @warlocking  
it’s friday, may 1. u know what that means. I’M FINALLY SEEING ADAM AGAIN

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
IKR IT’S BEEN A MONTH

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
And us

**emo prince** @warlocking  
sure you guys too

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
you’re enthusiastic :)

**emo prince** @warlocking  
shut up,,

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
if 11-year-old us saw us now, living in 3 different cities, seeing each other once a month, and sort of gay, depressed & surviving uni thanks to coffee and cheap wine

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
the apocalypse almost seems unreal now lol

**emo prince** @warlocking  
do not. do not say ‘lol’. it’s so cringe

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I miss the simple days ://

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Don’t wish hard enough to time travel or reverse time again though please

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
that was ONCE

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
pepper never told me about that 👀

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
it’s an incident we Do Not Talk About

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
so you’re far enough in the relationship to talk about adam being the antichrist, eh, pepper? 😏

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
binch nat is the love of my LIFE

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
💕💕

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
do u know about the summer uncle crowley actually took us to mars then or

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
…no?

**Amen** **👼🏿** @amenadiel  
Uncle Crowley did WHAT?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ehhh it was the coronavirus year, holidays were difficult

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
friend 1: *heart eyes*  
friend 2: *heart eyes back*  
both: in denial  
me: 🤦🏾♀️

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
almost reminds me of their uncles…

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
We were like that, weren’t we?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
wait,, are u talking about adam and warlock? ADAM and WARLOCK? since WHEN

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
well it was almost bound to happen, what with the… history

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
but- but- BUT-

**emo prince** @warlocking  
excuse me I may be a gay disaster but I’m not in love with adam?? he’s my best friend??

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I mean he can’t be in love with ME I’m the antichrist and I’m weird

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Ah. I see 😇😏 Shall we bring better wine and cake for tomorrow’s picnic in Tadfield?

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
I’m-

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
PLEASE 🙏🏾

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
the one good thing about 2020 is that it was the year aziraphale finally learnt to bake

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
one more month. ONE MORE MONTH and then the semester’s over. you can do this, crowley, it’s your third year doing it

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
yep, relatable

**aesthetic** @coffeelove  
do you ever regret aziraphale talking you into it? university of brighton?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
welllllllll I could quit any time could I? and I like having an audience that listens to me and doesn’t ask me what a computer is. I’m sharing my memories with someone who’s interested in them, imagine that! and besides, there’s a lot of low-grade evil in academia.  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and, u know. he was right. by the 4th year of living together, things really got Intense because we are, deep down, still an angel and a demon who are VERY capable of driving each other mad. so now that we both work, we see each other evenings & weekends like back in the day  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and it’s alright. we look forward to the company, esp when we don’t even work at the same campus. cabin fever & boredom gets to everyone. his snapping and telling me he was getting a job and I could either go with him or continue being a useless demon was what I needed, really  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
bonus point: aziraphale doesn’t even mind riding the bentley to work every day as much anymore now that I managed to undo the queen curse and learnt to slow down when there’s “traffic”. he even tried driving once :)

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Which was enough, thank you very much. A demonic machine! I prefer mopeds.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and going 40mph, yeah, I know. you do you

**melinda p.** @holyfool  
I didn’t know mr aziraphale could drive anything at all

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh, needs must. I can’t get everywhere I need by wing, or with Crowley.

**turtleneck kween** @turtelturtle  
WING

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
I saw him fly once and he landed in our swimming pool


	2. married life™

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
🎶 Modern Music Taste Test #21: _@Hozier_. I do actually like his music, especially the slower songs. ‘Like Real People Do’ must be my favourite. Will be joining the Aziraphale-approved Bentley playlist!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
after FOUR failed attempts in a row I have succeeded again,, the 2020s might just be when he moves past the 1920s where music is concerned!!!

**aesthetic** @coffeelove  
Hozier Is A God

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
we stan the raw horny forest cryptid energy

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
ooooohhh nice, aziraphale, nice

**soybean** @onaroll  
question. is ‘from eden’ about you two or

**little miss chatterbox** @Valerie169  
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door…… 🐍

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
nope. coincidence

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
I still can’t believe I’m graduating from hs this month?? wild

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
baby

**emo prince** @warlocking  
baby

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
baby

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
baby

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Baby

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
shut up y’all aren’t even a year older than me

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
humans grow up so fast, I’d swear you were 11 just now

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
THANKS 👍

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
god help me, aziraphale made too many rhubarb pies again and I’m pretty sure the entire neighbourhood is SICK of rhubarb pies by now

…….and THAT is a thing I never thought I’d say

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
married life™

**that horse girl** @judybitch  
don’t grow rhubarb then??

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
dOnT grOw rHubArB tHeN thanks I did not think of that

**emo prince** @warlocking  
i honestly can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
guess

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
holy antichrist at least TRY to be a demon and give them all the pies BECAUSE they’re sick of them

**lord of files** @Dagon  
I see uve really resigned urself to the lack of any higher evil from him

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
I’d’ve given up entirely when he married that angel but then I see something like that and want to punch his fucking face

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I beg your pardon, my pies and I will not be treated this way. I _know_ the neighbours have had enough of them; that’s why they’re for the humanities department. And as far as I know, you’re the one seeing “that archangel” even after all these years, Lord Beelzebub.

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
go OFF-

**Melissa** @monalissa  
 _@ajcrowley_ will there be more baking videos 👀

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@monalissa_ we’ll whip up something new next sunday ;)

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
 _@ajcrowley_ & _@tea_and_scones_ really made a wholeass vegan birthday cake for our sophia’s 2nd birthday I’m- 😭💖  
[ _A photo of a simple cake covered with white icing. A small green snake, curled in the shape of a 2, is sitting on the top, along with two candles._ ]

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
nice!

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
a snek from a snek :)

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
happy birthday to Sophia 🎈🎂💕

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
guuuuuuuurl your kid is 2!!! I can’t believe!!!! sending our love from la!!!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@anathema_d_ I hope you’re proud of yourself, aziraphale kept whining about coconut & sunflower oil just not being the same for icing as butter as if he wasn’t convinced that coconut oil was runny and tasted like coconut like, two years ago

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
development

**emo prince** @warlocking  
u thought the same until anathema told u

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
a minor detail

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
Vegan Birthday Cake Even Non-Vegans Will Like and Manage to Make: https://youtu.be/8dGmp79iJ1

**Melissa** @monalissa  
You didn’t edit out his complaining lmao that’s gold

**coffee & cake **@betty_oconnor  
A treasure as always 😏

**melinda p.** @holyfool  
“crowley, will you stop sticking your demon fingers into the icing AT ONCE” “got to know how it tastes, don’t I?” “five times?!”

**candy man** @partymarty  
why do I get the feeling you barely managed to make that yourselves but somehow it still looks insanely good

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
 _@partymarty_ it’s like a literal miracle, right :)


	3. what do you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late. may and june are exam months for me and I've got a lot of tests and essays and stuff to write right now... until today, I haven't written anything fic-related for 4 days, which is my personal record since like, 2018. I usually write every day, heh. anyway. enjoy!

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
just spent 4 days working on an essay on same sex marriage and relationships in ancient cultures and im Enlightened but also Exhausted-

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’m the one who’s going to have to mark 40 of those so it better be a good one

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
Dr Crowley…? I didn’t know you were on twitter. and that you could find us. this is embarrassing

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I have been for a decade, do keep up. and I’m Watching You  


**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
oof

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
oh my GOD

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
the awkward moment when your teacher-

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
asking for a friend: any lifehacks on how to get over a crush on one’s best friend?

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
mate you’re not fooling anyone,,

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
why get over it when you can tell him how you feel and live happily ever after :)

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Drink a lot, proceed to realise you can’t, drink some more, accept your fate, and don’t be stupid enough to wait for 2000 years to tell him because he clearly does like you back.

**pugs.** @scrambledeggsy  
date a lot of other ppl until u realise u can’t. decide to say fuck it & confess 10 seconds before a bomb goes off and u die. not die. find out it aint unrequited. get married

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
don’t be like me and try to run away.

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
shout it on twitter

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
why would u do that u dumb bisexual arse, get yo man

**sweet but psycho** @villanelle  
murder

**pugs.** @scrambledeggsy  
…and then there’s her

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
um??? I said I was asking for a friend?? this has nothing to do with me,,

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
yep, dumbassery is definitely hereditary

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
hey!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
she’s not wrong,

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I need new relatives. again

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
it’s been 7 years but I still can’t get over the fact that aziraphale and I are MARRIED and he’s MINE and he still PUT S UP WITH ME I’m,,, lucky demon

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
didn’t he threaten to divorce you if you didn’t stop wearing squeaky shoes indoors like, yesterday

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
but he doesn’t mean it 👉👉 see, that’s what I’m talking about. I love him so much

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Don’t push it with the flip flops though, darling.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
listen. being annoying is basically my job description

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
isn’t teaching humans their own history your job description

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
shut up, I’m only doing that bc of aziraphale

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
how sweet :3 and speaking of, thx for helping out with ap art history ;)) I think I def have at least a 3

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Ah yes, the privileges of knowing a few immortals

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
if only you knew some living nearby, like your own stepfather for example

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
I’m sorry but do YOU have a signed mona lisa sketch? 😏😏😜😜

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
…

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
hear that? it’s me and my annoying flip flops doing a victory dance

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
so, u know how I mentioned the teacher who sometimes talks about history as if he’d been there like a time traveller or immortal or something? and how a teacher found my twit account? well,, he’s the same one, and guess what  
|  
 **child of athena** @adalinejames  
I checked his acc and I found this #TwitterCryptids thing dating back to 2018 dedicated to him and his husband and apparently IT’S A WHOLE THING ON THE INTERNET LIKE???? HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THIS??? and also he’s a vlogger so there’s that

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
wait, WHAT

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
I thought it was just a running joke at uni but now I checked him out and- what the fuck

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
 _@brad_not_pitt @CaraTroiaAlonso_ IKR???? he’s talking about angels and demons??

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
i guess it makes sense,

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
but then there are recipes and photos of some kids and. it’s gotta be a joke right. demons aren’t real

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
is it weird that my teacher has a yt channel? yes. am I gonna spend hours procrastinating and watching his videos to know more about his life and this supernatural thing cos he doesn’t tell us anything personal? also yes. WHO’S WITH ME

**brighton up!** @QueenOfBadPuns  
 _@bichael_ well he doesn’t tell us stuff for a reason, probably…

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
 _@QueenOfBadPuns_ if it’s on yt it’s public. and it’s his own fault for forgetting that we weren’t supposed to know about his internet career dkfnjsn

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@adalinejames_ Brighton freshers?

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
 _@guacamola_ yep

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@adalinejames_ You’ve got a lot to look forward to with Crowley then, oh my sweet summer children 

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
 _@guacamola_ what do you know 👀👀

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@CaraTroiaAlonso_ Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy


	4. my half-brother is such an idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, it happened again, it's been ten days. I'm sorry. gone are the days when I updated three times a week... one word: exams. 
> 
> also... I'm sorry if this isn't as funny anymore. I feel like it's not. I don't even know. let me know that it doesn't completely suck?

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
girls. rt if you agree

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
couldn’t agree more

**where my soulmate at** @BIanca  
uh yeah,,

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
I love my gf and drink the respecting women juice by gallons and u should too

**Wanda** @transpowerrr  
and!!!! trans girls!!!!!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
hanging out on lesbos in sappho’s time was fun. should do it again sometime

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
should I take you up on that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I could travel in time without an old malfunctioning box if I wanted to, thx

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
the moral dilemma of having (mostly) given up my antichristly powers vs the stress and sleep deprivation of exams and hating to study when I just want to read a sodding book and hang out with my friends,, is strong with this one

**emo prince** @warlocking  
think of us mortals. do u have no pity sweetheart

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
dimension alterations, however,

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Siblings. This is why I don’t have any

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
why are u making it sound like u have a choice

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Actually, what do you know 👀

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
is no one going to comment on the “sweetheart” or

**emo prince** @warlocking  
figure of speech

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
funny, I called my husband this before we so much as kissed when I wanted to rile him up and let my feelings dangerously slip but without being Known

**emo prince** @warlocking  
don’t ruin my cool, mysterious & sarcastic reputation by saying stuff like that NANNY

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
you cannot kill me in a way that matters

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I hope yall are proud of yourselves cos I’ve just had to use a minor miracle to undo coffee damage to laptop keyboard

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
my half-brother is such an idiot

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
sometimes I ask myself how tf I ended up talking to teenagers on twitter, making random stupid videos to entertain and *shudders* mischievously help people, having conversations with my pet snake over lunch, and bickering with my husband, an angel, over the colour of the curtains  
|  
**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I, an actual demon from actual hell, helped willy shakes with his plays for THIS? I enrolled in mi5 during wwii for THIS? I helped save the world for THIS?

**soybean** @onaroll  
…willy shakes

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
much ado about nothing. that is all I will say

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Going with the times, don’t you always say? Also, black is not a reasonable colour for curtains and we both know you know that.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
they were SPACE curtains angel, with GALAXIES on them. space isn’t WHITE

**yaz** @wrathofKhan  
it sure ain’t :)

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
I thought you liked the way your life has turned out

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I do. doesn’t mean I can’t be in a weird mental state about it sometimes

**aesthetic** @coffeelove  
it just hit me that you’ll still be around when commercial space travel and like, flying cars really are a thing and oh my god

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
imagine Aziraphale in the 23rd century though

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
he’ll be stuck in the 2080s

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
the more I try to make sense of @/ajcrowley the less I feel like I know

anyway. conclusion: my history prof is either an immortal demon or playing the biggest prank of the last decade and idk which option is better

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
idk mate the videos just don’t add up,, but so many ppl on here are having serious conversations in the replies and honestly seem to believe it and u KNOW the stuff he says

🅱️ **lease** @beterhenderson  
seeing the words “history prof” “demon” and “prank” together is a whole trip tbh

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
hey, u know how his husband teaches lit at falmer campus and used to have an antiquarian bookshop and all… and there’s this witch mum friend of theirs… what if there are some occult books involved somehow or something

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
occult books? wdym?

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
well I don’t KNOW it was just a thought

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
valid

**brighton up!** @QueenOfBadPuns  
he teaches lit at falmer? he’s here too??

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
you know nadia, my bf’s friend? she studies literature and linguistics there, right, and she’s in dr fell’s enlightenment to romanticism class or whatever it’s called. but that’s him alright. she showed me a photo of him once

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
wild

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
I shall get in touch with her and gather intel

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
or you could just ask, I don’t bite. not at the moment

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
oh my god

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
yes, that’s my mother


	5. happy pride month!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... with what's currently going on, the first bit is a bit more serious. but it's also june, and you know what that means! happy pride month! 🌈

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
on the 6th anniversary of the murder of george floyd and countless more innocent black people by cops and the protests that followed, let’s remind ourselves that while the situation in the us got a bit better, systemic racism and police brutality are nowhere near dealt with -  
|  
 **sad boi** @peteyboiii  
and we can’t forget that. white privilege is still a big part of history worldwide that won’t disappear in a decade, so we must acknowledge it and use it to help and to stand with black people and all poc and to fight for justice. and most importantly, we can’t forget -  
|  
 **sad boi** @peteyboiii  
like many “”celebrities”” did. I’m just a dumb white twentysomething who doesn’t even have followers but I grew up in brooklyn. my gf and many of my friends and neighbors and classmates are poc. I protested with them and for them in 2020 when I was just a senior in high school -  
|  
 **sad boi** @peteyboiii  
I got fucking SHOT AT. and I tried to learn and pass as much of that knowledge and experience on, even if I can’t personally imagine. and I’m still speaking up. so if y’all see this y’all better rt and never, EVER forget that #blacklivesmatter and #acab -  
|  
 **sad boi** @peteyboiii  
ofc that’s not enough. support black-owned and poc-owned businesses, read, educate yourselves, speak up, donate, VOTE, help do something about the govt in this fucked up country and try to make it a better place for the generations to come, especially all the children of color.

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
 _@peteyboiii_ and not only in America!!! the UK is still equally fucked up and racism is rooted deep within this country. colonialism and imperialism. slave trade. social darwinism. white supremacy. all that is our history. and discrimination is still our present.  
|  
 **black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
many immigrants, including my grandparents, came here to work and in a prospect of a better life, but it’ll never be a better life for us if we’re systemically oppressed and get fewer job opportunities and good education or healthcare. remember covid-19.  
|  
 **black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
they laughed at us then for protesting and getting involved in something that’s an American problem, but it bloody well is our problem too. #dontforget #blacklivesmatter

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
 _@peteyboiii @carmenekwensi_ 6 years ago, I donated a million to every fund and organization available. 6 years ago, _@AdamYoung_ told me he could fix it. it was tempting, but I said no, this is humanity’s problem, and we have to fix it ourselves, that would be cheating 1/?  
|  
 **witch mum** @anathema_d  
as bad as I felt about it. divine intervention is easy, but it would erase the struggle, the wins and the losses that drive us forward. it’s the same with the whales and rainforests. what he did had to be undone to preserve reality. so don’t let that be in vain. 2/3  
|  
 **witch mum** @anathema_d  
we have to keep going and show him that we’re capable of evolving. right now, we must remind ourselves what happened 6 years ago and keep pushing away from it. #dontforget #blacklivesmatter 3/3

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
they’re right, you know. it’s your problem. and it’s very much a british problem, the bastards basically invented anti-black racism, I was there for it. humans are the ones obsessed with race, colour, sexuality, gender, religion and whatnot, we can’t fix that for you  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
jesus wasn’t white, he was from the middle east. but everywhere you see a picture of him, he’s white. that’s just one example of how deep this goes, historically. so yeah, you voted trump out, you started to be aware of the situation and fight, but it doesn’t end there.

**OH** @MasterOfTheUniverse  
to all white humans: you should try regenerating into a man of colour after 1500 years of being white and see for yourself how differently they treat you. but you can’t. so at least imagine it and try before I really wipe everyone off the planet

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
that’s the thing about villainous aliens, they don’t discriminate because they don’t like anyone. do you want to be worse than them? do ask this your racist relatives especially.

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
black. lives. fucking. matter. periodt 

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
hands down, _@ajcrowley_ is the best history teacher in all of existence because he doesn’t only teach us history from the white point of view

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
he’s the one (1) white person I feckin respect cos he’s got a proper grudge against white ppl himself and always points out the truth. and then there’s the face tattoo and his outfits

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
and suspected demon-ness

**Ola** @guacamola  
I mean they go by they/them pronouns sometimes, we once saw them in a snake print dress and all, they have a pet snake, break all traffic rules and give the bird to cops on a regular basis, know cool facts about space, and have allegedly snogged byron, mary shelley, or freddie

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@guacamola_ nothing alleged about it. since when do you talk to the first-years behind my back, eh?

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@ajcrowley_ since they’re not supposed to not know

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
 _@ajcrowley_ h,, how do you always find us, Dr Crowley

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@CaraTroiaAlonso_ magic. and drop the title, this is twitter, not formal emails. we can play silly bureaucratic buggers there but here everyone’s equal in their own stupidity. look at my display name, does it say anthony j. crowley, phd? no, it says walking panic noodle

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
well said, I’m-

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
can I uhhh ask why does it say that?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
that’s a nickname my snake had given me and it stuck cos it’s true

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
to all my guys, gals and nonbinary pals: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!! 🌈 🏳️‍🌈

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
 _@peppergaladriel_ happy pride month!!! especially to you baby 💕💕💖💖🏳️‍🌈

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
happy #pridemonth! here’s a reminder to support ALL members of the lgbt community ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Yes! And here’s a reminder that asexual and aromantic people are valid and still LGBT+ even if they are only attracted to people of the opposite sex or don’t experience any attraction at all!

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
happy pride month binches, human, celestial, alien or otherwise!!! ur all valid and I love u!!! 😘

**quinn** @quinntessential  
happy pride month! Homophobes Do Not Interact

**emo prince** @warlocking  
god I can’t wait for exams to be over and us to go to london pride all together and then get drunk and forget uni exists for almost three whole months,,

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
mood

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
 _@warlocking_ how many times have u listened to ur big gay playlist™ on repeat, eh

**emo prince** @warlocking  
three 🖤

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
warlock, all year long: gay, edgy, pining  
warlock on 1/6: gayer and edgier and pining even more

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
did you mean:  


**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
nanny ashtoreth approves

**emo prince** @warlocking  
fuck this though it’s making me want a bf even more

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
yeah :(( would be nice to have a date to pride tbh. hold their hand. take weird selfies. have ice cream

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
maybe you could… idk… go with each other as a date… haha just kidding…… unless

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I mean we’re going together anyway?? as friends?? we always do that stuff

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
I could say the same about my husband 😏

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
*snorting snake noises*

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Happy Pride Month! May this be a blessed time for us all! And remember, if you find yourself in difficult situations and needing help, you can always reach out to me or _@ajcrowley_. And _@azfellandco_bookshop_ is always here to provide temporary sanctuary and/or information. 😇🌈

**A. Z. Fell & Co. **@azfellandco_bookshop  
 _@tea_and_scones_ Yes! Remember--we don’t only sell antiquarian books! Our shelves are fully stocked with books ranging from LGBT+ and anti-racism to cookbooks, environmental awareness, and self-help, and our support group for teens and young adults is meeting on Weds.

**pan literature stan** @areugonnatellher  
happy pride month to you too, Dr Fell 💖💛💙

**nadia** 🇷🇺 🇬🇧 @npetrova  
you really are a guardian angel, dr fell! I’ve got to stop by when I’m in london 👀

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
happy pride month, mr aziraphale! I virtually owe my life to you and crowley, and I’m so grateful to be able to share my experiences and knowledge and help people who are where I was 7 years ago every wed at the bookshop. thank you.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
happy pride month angel 😇😈 the one time celebrating a deadly sin is welcome even in heaven, eh?

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
ah, my favourite month is here! pride, celebrating sexuality and freedom, a lot of hot people in pride parades right outside the club… it’s the opposite of christmas!

**monica** @moneyca  
that is so something the devil would say aklnshfd

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
YES 👏👏 the angel of PRIDE 👏👏

**timbo** @timforcoffee  
you gotta stan angels and demons bc they’re all pan and sort of all over the gender spectrum and don’t give a f u c k

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Gender? I don’t know her.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
cos I stole them a l l

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
happy pride month!!!! and a moment of silence for aziraphale using that meme

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
occasionally he even learns something, can you believe?

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  



	6. I'm Scared Now

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
NEW VIDEO: for #pridemonth, _@anathema_d @AdamYoung_ and I made a special concerning bisexuality & pansexuality! it’s obviously been done before, but our take is funnier 😉 #bipride #panpride https://youtu.be/5dRi3plE9o

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
YES, ANTHONY J CROWLEY SAYS BI & PAN RIGHTS

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
yep, still my favourite teacher 🏳️‍🌈

**I miss b99** @adhdbisexuall  
the supernatural power trio 💪 breaking down the myths and stereotypes and being unapologetically bi 💪 we stan

**melinda p.** @holyfool  
I love how you took your friends and created the perfect trio. “I’m a single bloke and only ever dated one girl. still bi.” “I’m a woman married to a man. still bi.” and “I’m a currently male-presenting being married to another mostly male-presenting being. still pan.”

**soybean** @onaroll  
god what a mood

**monica** @moneyca  
yasss more bi/pan solidarity KEEP EM COMING

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
you mentioned well-known and even lesser-known bisexuals in history,, I LOVE YOU

**bisaster** @doctormissy  
💖💜💙

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
pan demon pride 😈

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
 _@mazikeen_ …pandemonium?

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
(≖_≖ )

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@ellatheawesomestcsi_ you win I’m-

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
aziraphale be here giving me confused puppy eyes and wondering why I’m hiding away in the garden as if the bastard didn’t know what he’s done

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
what did he do 👀

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
brought home this satanforsaken swiss stinky cheese that stinks all the way to hell and then said it was a delicacy and went well with that wine he’d bought earlier. no, angel, I don’t care how much you like it, it smells like hell’s communal fridge. DEMONS eat that stuff

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
uh ur a demon??

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
*DISGUSTING demons eat that stuff

**lord of files** @Dagon  
fuck off, youre just too weak to enjoy the character of proper cheese

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
what I am is missing the times I spent most of my time at my flat and didn’t have to endure all this

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I think you’re forgetting to mention what it’s payback for, my dear.

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
payback

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
don’t tell me. it’s the squeaky flip flops

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
hhhhhhhhhhh of course it is

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
lmaoo we love a bastard angel

**Connor** @28connor  
2019 crowley: hhhhh notice me,, love of my life,,,  
2026 crowley: take your fucking stinky cheese somewhere-

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
no, you don’t understand, they’ve always been both. that’s the entire relationship in a nutshell

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
he’s still the love of my life. we live to annoy each other and occasionally get really drunk, reminisce about the past and have some really hot sex. wouldn’t be fun otherwise

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
When you’ve known someone for 6030 years…

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
oh my mum it’s a big anniversary this year 😳

**God** @God  
Don’t worry, you’ve still got 4 months!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
uh thanks I really can’t do simple maths

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
you did forget about it but ok

**Kacey** @2001kaykay  
did u just sass a demon

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
a demon who’s just sassed god, yeah

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
in other news, summer term is finally over. *inhaling seagull* here be exams!!!

to any student of mine that’s reading this: I’ll personally come for anyone who has less than 50% on their test and send them into the period of time they know the least about for a month

**lady gaga but make it renaissance** @chromxtica  
oof

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
*studies the 14th century harder*

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
 _@adalinejames_ I see you got the I-hate-the-14th-century speech

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
 _@anathema_d_ we did. is that like.. a thing?

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
 _@adalinejames_ Oh, you have no idea.

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
I’m Scared Now

**emo prince** @warlocking  
this is SO unfair, we still have a week of classes left

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
more at oxford :)

**emo prince** @warlocking  
you should’ve gone to london with me :(

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
yeah but I wouldn’t be able to drive wensley to uni every day and take anathema’s old books and stuff then, would I

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Actually, I would’ve done just fine without your Crowleyesque driving…

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
aw you wound me

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and ME

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
god, boys are so stupid sometimes

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
it’s a great day to be a lesbian

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
YES IT IS 🌈 not so much a fresher during summer exams skskskks

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
*laughs in uber driver*

**emo prince** @warlocking  
shut up briancell

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
sometimes you have a study session and actually study, but sometimes you end up drinking strongbow and talking about that one teacher who’s about 80% likely not human

**Raffaello** @rafael_alonso_  
I can’t believe u didn’t text me that??? tell me more 👀

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
u may or may not be named after him, for starters,

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
I expected uni to be an experience but not like This ksndjnjada

**uwu** @someonestopme  
you’re talking about crowley right

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
yeP

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
we also spent about an hour discussing whether he could be in any way related to aleister crowley

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
yeP

**uwu** @someonestopme  
and??

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
anything is fucking possible. also the whole class should meet up next time, who’s in

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
I’ll alert the group chat

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
goodbye sleep, hello coffee, history & solving mysteries

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I did not and nor will I ever have children, therefore I, naturally, can’t be related to aleister crowley. the surname appeared on its own as an anglicised form of a… gaelic? name, I think. I was the original though. there, mystery solved.

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
…

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
aren’t you supposed to, idk, not tell anyone that you’re immortal if you’re immortal?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
the human brain is funny that way, you won’t really remember it in a few years. I’ve watched people age around me while I remained young, and after a while, they just stop noticing it. people who meet me after a couple of years say I look remarkably like my father.  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
even 40 years from now, people will be saying that when they find photos of me on the internet. when anyone asks, I can deny everything and play it off as a prank cos pranks are what I do sometimes, ain’t they? and you, you’ll just have memories of an odd teacher  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
who had something special about them but you won’t be able to figure out what. the brain will skip over it. ‘ah, they always explained everything so vividly as if they’d been there, must’ve really loved history’. that kind of thing. and c’mon, the internet is full of shit!  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’d know, I’d help popularise it back in the day. smartphones too, and selfies, and satan knows what else. but is that somewhere in any records? no. aziraphale has been going to the same barber for more than 100 years and no one batted an eye. his SHOP has been there since 1800.  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
same owner, almost the same clothes. no one notices. people ignore it just as they glossed over the fact that the apocalypse almost happened in 2018 or that the antichrist was the nicest kid in the village. believe what you want. accept it as the truth or not; that’s up to you.  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and you better study, you know that I will NOT tolerate slackers in my class. peace out

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
anyone else feel like they’ve been hit by a train loaded with things they weren’t supposed to know anything about

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
huh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I mean that’s the whole bloody point ksdjsbfd

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
he’s a blessed show-off

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and PROUD ✨


	7. is THIS the bad place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first part of this is totally inspired by my own thoughts and the music I've been listening to before writing this :')

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I made aziraphale listen to some of those bardcore edits of modern songs that started popping up round 2020 and let me tell you, his reaction was PRICELESS. pure confusion wrapped in a beige jacket

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
omg when I first came across those all I could think was “imagine being immortal and hearing this”

**turtleneck kween** @turtelturtle  
it’s like. the style and instruments are familiar. the melody and the lyrics are familiar. but they Do Not Fit Together and you’re just like  


**monica** @moneyca  
I KNOW RIGHT

**melinda p.** @holyfool  
“pure confusion wrapped in a beige jacket” I can almost SEE IT

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
I think you’re forgetting that I introduced u to them some years back and u said you’d swear u danced to that in a tavern in the 13th century and proceeded to tell a very detailed story about some bard or other when in fact the song was ‘what is love’, from 1992,

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
fffffffhh stop ruining my reputation

**emo prince** @warlocking  
oho do u need ice for that

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
:)

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
All this teasing aside, I think it’s really nice that this kind of music is making a comeback, I did rather like it back in the day and was devastated when it went out of fashion.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
imagine if there was this giant database where you could find anything from gregorian chants and lutes to beethoven to ariana grande whenever you wanted

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
There wasn’t in the 19th century, was there.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
😲

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
though not american, I’d like to remind y’all of #Juneteenth and what it means for the black community <https://twitter.com/i/status/1274030965606674432>

**BLM** @bossbitch_mj  
THIS <https://twitter.com/LOVEDCHERRIES/status/1273999424285483009>

**meta corner** @doctormissy  
⬆️⬆️

and yes, I know this is a day late, shhh. pretend those are retweets. and check them out. #Juneteenth

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
I cannot believe the semester ended YESTERDAY and we are FREE

**natasha** @gingeralecat  


**12 watermelons in a trenchcoat** @crackitycrack  
y e s

**emo prince** @warlocking  
summer vibes different when you’re in uni tho

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
ikr? it’s not like when you’re 12 and spend days playing in the woods and don’t have a care in the world. people have expectations of you. half of your gang lives in london. you’re absolutely disillusioned about ice cream

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
alright then mr-wet-blankets, rain on our parade

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
I hope it doesn’t rain for pride…

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
u say that every year and yet every year uncles A&C make sure it doesn’t,

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
😉😉😉😉

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
also, literally no one is telling you that you can’t go play in the woods, do what you want! make use of that free will! use your powers to make your own ice cream flavours à la the good place!

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
that’s actually fairly motivational

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I have my moments, thank you

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
I wonder what bitter disappointment mixed with permanent annoyance and a pinch of I-have-the-worst-boss tastes like

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
bitterly?

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
😒

**Eleanor is bi** @mjjjohn  
they got the reference im-

**nb and proud** @winchesterfann  
is THIS the bad place

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
*on a skype call*  
warlock: fuck im so hot  
adam: hot damn  
w: …  
w: bc of the summer heat  
a: that’s what I mean, obvsly. the heat  
me: …  
me: no puedo creer esto a veces. smh

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
i- WHY

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
cuz ur really stupid for a half-angel

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
wait, that HAPPENED 👀

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
*cough* we all know which side of the family they take after *cough*

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
didn’t adam actually learn spanish at some point

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
he did, I can’t even hide my sarcastic comments from him

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
pray warlock doesn’t see this

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
no I’m counting on it

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
good girl

𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 @glitterngloss  
tfw u live on the other side of the world but still are fed up with your friends’ obliviousness and try to do them a service via calling them out on twitter

**emo prince** @warlocking  
😳😳😳

**meredith** @rainbowisthenewblack  
I thought england was wet and cold even in summer 👀

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
not since climate change

**meredith** @rainbowisthenewblack  
damn and I was tryin to be funny

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
 _@warlocking @AdamYoung_  


**emo prince** @warlocking  
no s t a h p

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
u must be mistaken

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
back in my day we got anyone we wanted to bed right away and enjoyed our time without all this dillydallying, honestly

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
ahem. really

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
ok pls refrain from discussing your sex life here, thx

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
or anyone’s

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
dagon got some archangel pussy yesterday

**lord of files** @Dagon  
well beelzebub got some archangel dick!

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
yeah but we been knew

**lord of files** @Dagon  
fuck off

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
HONEST L Y

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
p l e a s e I don’t want to hear this, you’re all my relatives, it’s w e i r d

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
who-

**lord of files** @Dagon  
who do ya think

**✝️** **Gabriel** ✝️ @ArchangelGabriel  
MICHAEL????!!?!?

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
And I suppose you have any right to judge me, Gabriel? Because only God could do that the last time I checked.

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
and she has the power of god an anime on her side


	8. oh god I know the feeling

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
after more than a year I finally finished supernatural and omg I’m gonna die

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
*sarcastic voice* yayyy

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
it took you a YEAR?

**nb and proud** @winchesterfann  
haha,, imagine watching it on a weekly basis since like 2013 until the end

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
 _@gingeralecat_ excuse u I watched roughly a season a month, it was CHALLENGING. so many episodes! so much to focus on! also I disagree with their portrayal of crowley, lucifer and basically anyone we know cos they ain’t like that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
THANK YOU

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
time to get back to good old star trek now

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
you say as if we didn’t know for a fact that u watched teotfw and sex education with the rest of us

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
sex ed is the only decent british series on netflix FIHGT ME

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
nothing good’s on telly anymore, only the great british bake off and strictly come dancing and all these immortal shows that will just. run. forever. it’s the only good show periodt

**12 watermelons in a trenchcoat** @crackitycrack  
did you mean: full stopt

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
that is NOT a thing

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
but it should be. why do americans get to have all the memes

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
cuz we’re better than u

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
haha. no bitch

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
true, america is trash, I don’t want to live here

**emo prince** @warlocking  
oh my gaaawd u gotta come live here u can stay in our apartment!!!!!

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
:3

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
warlock: bloody hell this beer is shite, wHo brOuGht tHIs tO thE fLaT  
also warlock: oh my gaaawd u gotta come live here u can stay in our apartment!!!!!

**emo prince** @warlocking  
oi listen up sweetheart u didn’t grow up in england w american parents and parents’ employees but british mates, other employees, everyone,

**pew pew** @BRIAN007 **  
**the real mood is warlock randomly switching between accents in the middle of a conversation

it’s like being bilingual…… but with a single language

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
oh god I know the feeling

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
en realidad eres bilingüe

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
*un polyglotte

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
не нужно хвастаться

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
HA ONLY LEGENDS

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
So, this escalated quickly

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
 _@peppergaladriel @gingeralecat_ also black mirror is also alright I suppose. and mofftis’s weird dracula series

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Personally, I like Black Books. And Victoria, it’s historical!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ok mr i-have-watched-every-episode-of-downton-abbey-ten-times

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
that’s funny cos u know how downton abbey is about the crawley family,

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
……yeah, shut up

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
:)

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
all my siblings are shit and I’m disowning them. again. thank you for your attention

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
We disowned you first.

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
oooooo

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
hey now that’s a PAINFUL SUBJECT

**lord of files** @Dagon  
YES CANCEL HIM MICHAEL

**✝️** **Gabriel** ✝️ @ArchangelGabriel  
Finally some good fucking news

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
what is going on on this good christian server????

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
someone thinks he has the ™ on demons who shag angels

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
hey are u forgetting I exist?? that’s lilimphobic

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
bitch-

**emo prince** @warlocking  
angels and demons when the apocalypse doesn’t happen:  


**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
again-

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
yes you were the first aunt maze we know

but have you MARRIED amenadiel

in front of GOD

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
😏😏😏😏😏😏

**DEATH** @AZRAEL  
 _@ajcrowley_ WE’RE GOOD, THOUGH, RIGHT?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
sure

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
is it odd that I miss dr crowley’s weird lectures

**Raffaello** @rafael_alonso_  
yes

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
shut up raf u don’t know what im talking about

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
 _@CaraTroiaAlonso_ I KNOW RIGHT

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
I’m glad no one got sent to the 14th century lmaoo

**uwu** @someonestopme  
I’m still highkey freaking out that there’s an IMMORTAL PERSON teaching HISTORY at fucking UNI OF BRIGHTON

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
I mean what would an immortal teach? computer science????

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
klsndsjnfs

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@brad_not_pitt_ he once mentioned something about astronomy and astrophysics though. you know, having built the stars

🅱️ **lease** @beterhenderson  
 _@guacamola_ idek who you are but I like that your sole purpose here is to slide into replies to tweets of other students and drop facts that will freak us out even more

**Ola** @guacamola  
 _@beterhenderson_ pleasure :3

**uwu** @someonestopme  
do u think we’ll meet his husband and him at london pride 👀

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
london is fuckin ENORMOUS that would be a big coincidence sdkjasdn

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
there’s the bookshop though? the queer sanctuary soho bookshop???

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
 _@bichael @someonestopme @CaraTroiaAlonso @adalinejames_ oh. OH. we should absolutely go there and ask the people who work there about them! I mean, they must KNOW

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
 _@gabriellesmindspace_ sounds like a mission :)

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
pack your crisps and sarnies gays because we arent just having fun and being fabulous, we are discovering the secrets of the universe

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
will u tell us straight people how it went?

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
no, perish

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
ok

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
u know that straight ppl are ALLOWED to be in town when pride is happening right? and to come with their amazing friends to support them? don’t worry, u won’t catch the gay :)

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
ta, I was real worried there for a second

**pan literature stan** @areugonnatellher  
allowed. I like that. cos we absolutely let them, u know, out of solidarity

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
I can’t believe pride month is almost over tho :/

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
announcement: due to reasons (the quick progress of time), the gays are now taking july as well

**gabe babe** @gabriellesmindspace  
SIGNED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the stuff Trixie, Anathema, and Crowley said (which I hope is correct, if not, please tell me) is, respectively: you actually are bilingual / *a polyglot / there's no need to show off


	9. I BELIEVE IN U MORONS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> change of plans! my trip was postponed and I'm not leaving until the 9th, so there will be some more updates before that! and today's a bit of a special one, because there's a bit of a the them and co. group chat first :)
> 
> and just a reminder: Nat is Pepper's girlfriend and Sara is Brian's. she's not on twitter because she's the only sane person there, apparently.

**Messenger  
squad [ ** **🌍🗡** **🚗💷💻👽🖌️🍣** **]**

30 JUN AT 2:18 PM

**Brian** **🚗  
** JEREMY WENSLEYDALE

WERE YOU GOING TO TELL  
ME THAT THERE WAS A GIRL  
YOU LIKED OR WAS I JUST  
SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT  
FROM ADAM MYSELF

 **Sara** **🍣**  
Omg whaaaaat

 **Trix** **👽**  
I KNOW RIGHT

 **Warlock** **💻  
** sometimes I legit forget that his  
name is jeremy sdknsjjfs

 **Brian** **🚗  
** so do we and we’ve known him  
since primary

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Excuse me, there is no girl? Adam’s  
exaggerating, we’re only friends.  
Boys and girls are allowed to be  
friends you know

 **Brian** **🚗  
** are u telling US skdnakaks ok

 **Adam** **🌍  
** ok but when have u hung out w  
anyone but us every day bw and  
after classes?? texted abt exams??  
blushed when she handed u that  
book u dropped??? cos I saw that  
😏😏

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** WAIT FOR REALZ

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** cringe

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** shut up

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** also aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **Brian** **🚗  
** who is she anyway 👀

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Her name’s Amelia, she studies  
biochem, and as I said, we’re  
just friends

 **Trix** **👽**  
ooohhh, science girl

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
And anyway… no one’s ever  
wanted to date me, not with my  
OCD, not to mention being ace

Everyone’s always on about sex  
and how people who don’t want  
to have it are broken… I know  
that you guys understand but  
others… not so much. I don’t  
like telling people for that reason  
and I like Amelia too much to  
lose her bc of that

 **Sara** **🍣**  
I’m so sorry 😔😔😔

I mean I can’t speak for her or  
u cos I dunno what it’s like and  
I’ve only known u for like a year  
but if she rly is ur friend and  
likes u back she might not mind  
it at all, and it’s certainly better  
to let her know now and stay  
friends or wtv than keep it a  
secret and be disappointed later?  
If that makes sense?

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I mean yea ppl are disappointed  
sometimes but either she doesn’t  
get it and bails in which case ur  
too good for her anyway OR she  
respects u and accepts it

and from what ive seen I think it’s  
the 2nd option lmao. she seems  
nice

and wdyk she might be ace too

I mean… it would b a big  
coindicence… but u never know

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** *hugs* 💖💖💖

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Please learn to spell

 **Adam** **🌍  
** life is too short for that pfffff

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** says the son of LUCIFER

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I mean we don’t KNOW if im  
immortal or not

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** this is still weird ngl

 **Adam** **🌍  
** ALSO wensley clearly digressed  
on purpose 🙃

 **Brian** **🚗  
** I agree with sara & adam

(ISN’T MY GF AWESOME  
💕💕)

and… it sounds like you do  
like her then???

 **Sara** **🍣**  
💕💕💕

 **Warlock** **💻  
** ugh go b cute somewhere else yall

 **Trix** **👽**  
ur just JEALOUS :)))

 **Warlock** **💻  
** so what-

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
I… might?

Bloody hell, I’ve never had a  
crush before, I don’t KNOW 

**Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** ok this is serious, he actually  
swore,

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
I swear!

Sometimes

 **Brian** **🚗  
** yeah but it’s fucking weird  
when u do

no offence! we love u. u do u  
mate

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
💜

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** ok ok

idea

how about u ask amelia to come  
to pride with us on sat???

 **Sara** **🍣**  
WE MIGHT HAVE A GIRLF  
SQUAD

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
**!!!!!!!

 **Brian** **🚗  
** oh no

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** same

but I’m supportive of u girls,  
we’ve got to stick together ✊🏿

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** :)

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Ok

I might actually do that?

She might not be free though…  
or like the idea… :(

 **Adam** **🌍  
** breathe!!! stay positive!!! I’m  
sure she will

or

I could ask for u?

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
No, I can do it

Ta, Adam

 **Warlock** **💻  
** and if she comes w us and sees  
u wearing ur ace flag she’ll know

what a way to come out

lowkey, u know. chill

not like me and my parents hahaha  
rip

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** hey. u live with us now. u don’t  
have to think abt them ever again

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** we’re here, we’re queer, we’ll kick  
homophobes’ arses

 **Trix** **👽**  
that doesn’t even rhyme

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** I’m an artist not a sodding poet

 **Trix** **👽**  
omg I saw that comic u posted on  
insta today and can I just say  
👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽😍😍😍

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** NO GURL YOUR LOVE,  
VICTOR FANART???????  
ICONIQUE?????

 **Trix** **👽**  
thanks 😙

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** not that I don’t agree cos WOW  
but this is not the time nor place

 **Warlock** **💻  
** thanks guys 🖤

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Alright, I texted her 😅

 **Brian** **🚗  
** IM SO PROUD OF U MATE

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
You know how much I hate  
texting first, so remember that  
this is your fault if something  
goes wrong

But thanks for the support 💜

 **Brian** **🚗  
** so while we wait… I’m just  
gonna say how funny it is that  
adam and warlock can give  
romantic advice but their shite  
at realising their own feelings  
lmaoo

 **Warlock** **💻  
** excuse me when have I not said  
I wanted a boyf

 **Sara** **🍣**  
do you actually like someone 👀

 **Warlock** **💻  
** yes?? I might???

kinda???

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** we been knew

 **Warlock** **💻  
** but I’m sure he deosn’t like me  
back haha

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** take evereyone’s advice and  
ask him out for pride u won’t  
regret 🌈

we’ve BEEN thru this u know  
it’s true

 **Trix** **👽**  
^^^

 **Warlock** **💻  
** y e e t

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** on another note

it’s officially the last day of june  
:(

 **Adam** **🌍  
** yeah :(

EXAMS ARE OVER THO!!!!

AND PRIDE IS ON SAT 🏳️‍🌈

 **Brian** **🚗  
** hey uhhh where are we meeting  
aziraphale & crowley again?

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** the bookshop dumbass

 **Brian** **🚗  
** 👍

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** I can’t believe I’m finnaly gonna  
meet them 🙃

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** I know!!!

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I’m just seeing aziraphale be like  


 **Warlock** **💻  
** accurate 😂😂

I mean yeah they’re basically like  
our parents at this point

well they ARE my parents in all  
but name

but it’s not like meeting the  
parents™ skdadfjgd if pep’s mum  
liked u they will too

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** 😌😌

 **Sara** **🍣**  
remember when I bribed them w  
some sushi from the restaurant  
when I first met them cos u said  
how much aziraphale liked sushi  
and… yeah

 **Brian** **🚗  
** you’re his favourite and it’s so  
not fair

 **Sara** **🍣**  
I know ✨😘

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Guys?

Amelia said she’d love to come  
🙈 🙈 🙈

 **Brian** **🚗  
** she did???

 **Adam** **🌍  
** akjaksdfdsj YES  


 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** what exactly did u say 👀

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
I only said that I was going to  
London Pride with some friends  
on Sat and asked if she wanted  
to come. She said she’s never  
been to Pride and that she’d love  
to go and meet my friends!!!

I didn’t say anything about…  
you know. But she’s not a  
homophobe, so

!!!!!

 **Warlock** **💻  
** DUDE

NICE

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
And you? 😏

 **Warlock** **💻  
** ok fine if wensley can be brave  
and ask a girl out I CAN DO IT

pepper can I have ur ice cream  
if im rejected

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** sure

but u won’t be

 **Trix** **👽**  
I BELIEVE IN U MORONS

 **Warlock** **💻  
** thank

* * *

**emo prince** @warlocking  
soooooooo…… I may have asked my crush to be my date to pride today……

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
oh my satan finALLY

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I had nothing to do with this but you have my full support, fake antichrist 😈🏳️‍🌈

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
and???????????

**emo prince** @warlocking  
he was shocked dead for like five mins and then sent me this gif  


**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
omg finally yall

**monica** @moneyca  
only gays-

**loki + tesseract = otp** @kara_thomps  
THOR RAGNAROK!!!!!!!!!

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
it’s one of my favourite movies :)

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
My _dears_. I am _so_ happy for you!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
aziraphale accidentally blew a lightbulb, for the record

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh, hush.

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
hang on, the fake antichrist and the actual antichrist? what a TWIST! and speaking of which, I would give you the shovel talk, but adam is fully capable of handling himself, so. have fun and remember to use protection

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
ugh this is making me uncomfortable

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I would agree but I seem to have acquired three children along the way and have had enough practice with the first two

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
wait, three?

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
people sometimes forget that I exist

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
we did not imagine this to be our life when we left hell but here we are. surrounded by children

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
kadashdjsdn tell me about it

**emo prince** @warlocking  
I STILL CANT BELIEVE THJIS THO FJDFDLASDJK

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
haha,, me neither. and I totally wasn’t anxious cos I thought there was some other boy

**emo prince** @warlocking  
ok but imagine being in MY shoes-

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
imagine being your friends and having to watch this for like t w o (2) y e a r s

**🍕** **pizza** **🍕** @pepperony  
imagine 6000 years

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ok u don’t have to rub it in, people

**emo prince** @warlocking  
YEAH

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
we will though


	10. wait, u have a cat??

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
I’ve just realised smth. if it works out for wensley and adam & warlock, MY MATES AND I WILL ALL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, HOW CRAZY IS THAT??!?

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
sure jan

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
IM SORRY TRIX U COUNT TOO and anyway you’ve had a boyfriend before

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
oh it’s that sweet age of first real relationships. enjoy it while it lasts

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
I don’t like this :)))

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
ay ay ay, look at my first real relationship, we’re married with a daughter <3

**emo prince** @warlocking  
when there was a literal prophecy,

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
hm does agnes nutter say anything about us

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
feel free to travel back in time and find out I guess

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
did anyone say time travel

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
no

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
pride’s tomorrow!!!! and I actually have a date???? I can’t wait!!!!! djsjdhadk what even

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
oh boy. he’s broken. _@warlocking_ u broke him

**emo prince** @warlocking  
excuse me we broke each other

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
tmi

**emo prince** @warlocking  
not like thAT AND U KNOW IT U LIVE IN THE SAME FLAT AS ME

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
😼😼😼

also _@peppergaladriel_ babe can u grab cat food at asda thx

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
u could’ve just texted me that but ok sure

**still bitter about bbc merlin** @hennnrey **  
**wait, u have a cat??

**emo prince** @warlocking  
yea. she’s named after goose from captain marvel and she’s a bastard who has us all wrapped round her paw. pep and nat brought her in and I just rolled with it. just look at _@gingeralecat_ ’s acct lmao

**loki + tesseract = otp** @kara_thomps  
haha… can I just say… there’s a pepper and a natasha who are dating each other and have a cat named goose……

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
our names are a coincidence but I’m fully responsible for the name of the cat and if there’s another its name will be fury

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
(the captain marvel films, the black panther films & black widow are the only ones she’s watched) (I love her anyway)

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
lies. I’ve also seen the thor ones. and I know pepper potts is a queen

**emo prince** @warlocking  
another?????????????? 🙀

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
betrayal™

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
shut up dog boi if u want to date warlock youve got to accept the cat(s)

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
fair

**Connor** @28connor **  
**the POWER of that line tho

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
there’s a metaphor there and it’s beautiful

**in your dreams** @cannoli_oli  
tfw you’re scrolling on tumblr and twitter, just minding your own business and not even knowing what day it is and suddenly ‘happy 4th of july!!!’ pops up at you and you’re wondering what the hell that’s about until you remember like, oh, right, americans again

**bellarke is canon** @cheeryontop  
I was confused about why u were confused until I remembered that there are ppl out there who don’t celebrate it lmaoo

**farah** @princessaziz  
yeah, it’s called the rest of the world

**monica** @moneyca  
nice :))))))

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
yeah like americans own the internet like 95% of the time and then. EUROVISION

**hot damn** @swiftie02  
I KNOW IT’S SO FUNNY SDNHJSDF

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
oh god I always get so confused when eurovision is happening like what even IS THAT and why is AUSTRALIA in it

**melinda p.** @holyfool  


**monica** @moneyca  
honestly the memes will tell u everything u need to know

**THIS close to a PhD** @anitamamacita  
haha,, don’t even get us started on the uk’s “”performances””

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
I’m still convinced crowley has something to do with that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I will neither confirm nor deny that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
IT’S PRIDE TIME 🌈  
[ _A photo of Crowley, Aziraphale, Anathema, Newt, their daughter, Adam, Warlock, Pepper, Brian, Wensleydale, Natasha, Sara, and Amelia in front of the bookshop, where a string of rainbow flags can be seen hanging in one of the windows. Most of them are wearing an assortment of pride flags, badges, and other colourful accessories, and Pepper and Adam are holding placards that say ‘love is love is love’ and ‘the first pride was a riot’._ ]

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
omg you look amazing!!! have fun!!! 💕😘

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
the fam is getting bigger and bigger, wow. greetings to the gay guardian beings from across the sea, you’re all amazing 💕

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
woooooo 🏳️‍🌈

**coffee & cake **@betty_oconnor  
happy pride!

**nb and proud** @winchesterfann  
the!!! agender and genderfluid pins again!!! I’m 😭😭😭😭

**Connor** @28connor  
the whole LOOK,,

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
oof I can’t believe I didn’t ask sooner but will you be coming to the brighton & hove pride in august as well??

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@bichael_ would we miss the biggest one?? in what’s practically our city now??? what do you think

**corn child** @heckmark  
wait I’m confused, london isn’t the biggest one??

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@heckmark_ nope, brighton is. also, we’re not american here, pride doesn’t ACTUALLY end in june, pfff

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
and some of us are so awesome that we get to go to pride two days in a row #blackpride ✊🏿🖤🏳️‍🌈

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
YES

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
this weekend hasn’t even properly started yet and I’m so hyped up already aaaaaaaa

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: when I was writing the Eurovision bit, a Eurovision song came up on my playlist.
> 
> and, as I said in twitter cryptids before, I'm sorry if this fic is way too British/European and therefore confusing for some of you, but it's all I know, and this is Good Omens, which takes place in England, so :') also, as far as I know, in most of Europe, pride events take place June-September, London Pride would've technically been today, and on Sunday, there'd be UK Black Pride (well, it's Sunday already because I'm posting this hella late, oh well). 
> 
> which brings me to fun fact #2: the 2026 calendar is, from March onwards, exactly the same as this year's. what a nice coincidence :D


	11. a match made in heaven and hell

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
mission: bookshop partially successful. do not have much new information. do have some books, photos & whole lotta Gay Emotions™

**brighton up!** @QueenOfBadPuns  
what happened??

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
ok so when we arrived in the bookshop, crowley and his husband weren’t there anymore, only these 2 ppl who work there. we explained how we’re their students and stuff and they were very cryptic about everything personal ((understandable--tho they seem to know stuff))  
|  
 **child of athena** @adalinejames  
but they pointed us to the 1st floor of the shop (nothing on ground floor is for sale?? only for browsing apptly) and told us we could browse the antiquarian books too, religious and historical section and feel free to use the wifi and get some tea so yea that was nice

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
I FOUND ONE ILLUSTRATION IN THIS ANGELOLOGY (which is a thing?? cool, I had no idea) BOOK THO AND UH ‘PRINCIPALITY AZIRAPHALE’ DID LOOK SUSPICIOUOSLY LIKE DR FELL SOOOOOOOO

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
aww, there are new peeps on the same quest! this is giving me so many 2019 flashbacks :)))

**Q** @efficiencies  
kids these days don’t even believe everything they find on the internet despite the conclusive evidence gathered by us 7 years ago and everything that happened in the #TwitterCryptids tag ever since. u make me proud but pls watch the snake video made by _@warlocking_ in dec 2019

**pugs.** @scrambledeggsy  
I mean we used MI6 RESOURCES THO these kids are in uni

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
OH GOD I REMEMBER THAT

**emo prince** @warlocking  
i’m not gonna lie, I totes forgot I was that dumb once

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
bold of u to assume you’re not dumb anymore

**emo prince** @warlocking  
where did I ask to be called out?? huh?? bitch??? and wheres u and dog I want cuddle

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
……I’m going to ignore the thing about mi6 resources and go on a SCROLLING SPREE

**emo prince** @warlocking  
 _@adalinejames_ knock yourself out https://t.co/pFjI5Al36w

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
what the fuck what the fuck waht tHE FUCK WHAT THE FU-

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
i-

**🅱** **️lease @beterhenderson  
** hhhhhh i am fi n e

**this bitch empty, tweet** @brad_not_pitt  
alright so the bloke literally turned from a giant black snake to a man like that I mean sure yeah y not ALSO IM SO GOING TO HELL OOF

**uwu** @someonestopme  
they don’t show this shit on the yt channel skfnsjf

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
me: *talks about being a demon*  
people: *see proof*  
people:  


**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I know the feeling. humans 🙄

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
ok but can we talk abt how the devil is apparently also on twitter and he’s fucking h o t or

**Connor** @28connor  
ah. we been there

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
welcome to the club *dab*

**emo prince** @warlocking  
and yall aren’t even kinda dating his son and have his sibling for a gossip lmao

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
so when I say I’m shooketh-

**emo prince** @warlocking  
so uhh yeah it’s official i??? might have a boyfriend?? and he kissed me when we were watching pride parade ;;_;;

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**YES WE ARE BOYFRIENDS AAAAAAA

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
it was a match made in heaven and hell tbh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
i mean, YEAH

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
AND THEY WERE-

antichrists

**emo prince** @warlocking  
u think ur funny but ur not, misquoting a vine like this,

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**NO WARLOCK WE WERE ANTICHRISTS

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
OH MAH GOD THEY WERE ANTICHRISTS

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
antichrist #1 says congrats little brother :3 but ofc you’d date someone named warlock, I mean, REALLY

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
he may not want the family heritage but it wants him

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**the biggest irony of this is that if the baby swap happened as it was supposed to it would be my name and can I just say, from the bottom of my heart, mood

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
seriously, the spot in the coven is always there

**emo prince** @warlocking  
haha,, our lives were literally swapped at birth and if they weren’t id be named adam and have grown up with his (my…………) parents and his would be warlock and he’d have grown up with mine and we’d never have met. yikes

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh, my dear boy, are you alright?

**emo prince** @warlocking  
yeah, I’ve been thinking about this a lot but honestly it’s fine and even if my parents were shit I was raised by u and crowley anyway and I can talk to adam’s parents anytime I want and besides, I wouldn’t wish it to be any other way cos yeah I might’ve had parents who loved me  
|  
 **emo prince** @warlocking  
and the them but I wouldn’t’ve met adam, like I said, and they wouldn’t’ve met him either. and who knows what armageddon would’ve been like if they hadnt been there to convince him to stop it. the world would’ve probz ended so uh ill take this life over any other, thanks  
|  
 **emo prince** @warlocking  
but yeah visiting his house in tadfield IS a lil weird cos even if I don’t care for biological family and that stuff, I still KNOW that they are my bio parents and it’s uhhhhh. you can probz imagine. tho I’m glad I’m not actually related to th*ddeus tbh

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**and they love u anyway!!! it’s mostly a win for everyone <3

**emo prince** @warlocking  
I hope ur dad doesn’t have a heart attack when we tell him about the, u know. dating situation

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**oh fuck

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
RIP Arthur Young 2k26 I guess

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
so would pot brownies make it better or worse…?

**Save the Planet** 🌍 @AdamYoung **  
**ANATHEMA NO

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Better, but you must be extremely careful about the dose.

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
aziraphale??!?!??

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh please, I’ve lived in Soho for more than 200 years. I’m an angel, not a saint.

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
someone should put that on a t-shirt


	12. one of the Tough Demon Things™

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
betrayal.png

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
what did aziraphale do

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
 _@anathema_d_ I love how u immediately jump to that conclusion cos ofc he did

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
did antoinette choose aziraphale over u to nap on again and then let herself be cuddled while you’re alone on the sofa, sulking

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
nah i accepted that that’ll keep happening and let it happen. no. he discovered classical covers of modern music and guess what he’s been listening to for hours on repeat. go on, guess. u already know the answer

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  


**in your dreams** @cannoli_oli  
it’s queen isn’t it

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
NAH I’M NOT MUCH OF A FAN BUT I WILL LISTEN TO BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY PLAYED ON A CELLO FOR TWO HOURS. ungrateful bastard. I’ll stop showing him new music is what I’ll do, let him live a boring life devoid of florence + the machine

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
you listen to florence???? 😍

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
been to a concert once or twice

**little miss chatterbox** @Valerie169  
is it just me or are half the songs between queen, hozier, florence, velvet underground and all your other favourite stuff about u two

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
it’s just u. u didn’t connect shit

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
aww, how sweet. we all have ears and understand english

**Connor** @28connor  
he’ll be asking aziraphale to a fancy expensive dinner with pianos playing and shit and still deny he’s a romantic ksdfjsf a mood

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
one of the Tough Demon Things™

**neither straight nor white** @eveofeden  
they’re all the same smh

**Wanda** @transpowerrr  
I love how we just don’t talk abt the fact that there was in fact a bfu episode abt the bookshop in 2022. just something I remembered

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
oh my god I KNOW!!! it’s so hilarious when u work there and know that everything’s real and the circle under the rug can actually reach to heaven and some books are never to be touched cos the secrets in them… phew. not to mention the scrolls saved from alexandria

**abandon all hope** @vijayanand97  
Never Ever Let Them See

**fluffy owl** @SarahMacDonald  
sometimes im feeling like we know more than the fuckin vatican n that we absolutely shouldn’t be allowed to know it but for some reason we are n the responsibility is Immense

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
It’s a part of living the cryptid lifestyle, isn’t it? Once you’re in, you’re in. No one else will ever truly know just what treasures I keep, especially not some American conspiracy theorists! It’s _exciting._

**fluffy owl** @SarahMacDonald  
I mean I traded a better job offer for this

(mostly cuz I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to leave this place w my memories intact but nae im fine)

**Wanda** @transpowerrr  
bookshop gang 😌✊

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
wait there is a WHAT

ive never watched bfu but I will NOW

**bitchbaby** @burdenedwithgloriousfandoms  
pls do

**🍕** **pizza** **🍕** @pepperony  
it was GLORIOUS

**abandon all hope** @vijayanand97  
crowley made a reaction tiktok and @’d ryan and shane and there was a whole thread there, it was bonkers 😂 he never posted it anywhere else. and that’s all I’m saying

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I never posted it anywhere else cos I’m supposed to be a normal human on yt but maybe I should cos you’re right, it was proper hilarious 😎 making fun of things is what I live for

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
You say that about a lot of things.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
well I’m immortal aren’t I angel

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
I’m going to the cinema with the girl I sort of like later today and I’m more nervous than I was when I destroyed a horseman of the apocalypse, is this normal

**emo prince** @warlocking  
id say yes and I wasn’t even there bc same,

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
so things are looking good with amelia then 👀

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Yeah! She had a lot of questions about being ace but she doesn’t seem to mind and god I really like her, I’m like, aaaaaaaaaaa

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
accept that you’re gonna be a nervous wreck anyway and go get yo girl kid

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Surprisingly good advice, thank you

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Occasionally, he’s not actually such a disaster.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’d get offended but yeahhhhhh I am a demon disaster what’s even new

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
🍷🧀🍇 ?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
oh sure ill come down

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
from where?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
the roof

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
should I get another snake, y/n

**stabby stab** @lowkeyagod  
yes, devote to the aesthetic properly

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
get a male and you’ll have A SNEK FAMILY

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
or one of those cute little white ball pythons, u know, like aziraphale 🐍

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
if you’re prepared to lose it to aziraphale as well, go ahead lmao

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
No, as I told you, I refuse to be outnumbered by snakes, or outsnaked, in this household. Get a tortoise if you must. Or a tattoo, or do something to your hair if you’re feeling the holiday restlessness and need to simply do _something_.

**I miss b99** @adhdbisexuall  
that shit is too real

**turtleneck kween** @turtelturtle  
mood

**farah** @princessaziz  
“outsnaked”

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
tortoises are BORING. and you’re already outnumbered in case you didn’t notice so that’s hard cheese!!! but fine I won’t impulsively buy a snake again even if ppl would want me to pff who does that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I impulsively bought about £1,200 worth of clothes and got an undercut and changed things round the ole body a bit. my pronouns are she/her or they/them rn, thx. still considering getting a mate for antoinette tho cos she said she’d like one. argue with THAT, angel

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I suppose I can’t, can I?

**Eleanor is bi** @mjjjohn  
noice

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
get all the sneks 👏

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
share some looks bitch

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@mazikeen_ in your dms

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
you’re pathetic

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
at least I look fabulous which is something you’ll never understand ✨


	13. army of snek children

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
am I bored enough to finally get to that one research paper I promised to deliver by the end of the month? yes. am I bored enough to actually write it? no, fuck yall, let’s just miracle in into existence and see if it makes sense

**loki + tesseract = otp** @kara_thomps  
the wish of every writer of anything ever:

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
un-bloody-fair

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’m a demon, I don’t play fair sweetheart

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
using your powers to bullshit on a work assignment, yes, I like that

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
gotta focus the energy somewhere

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
well if you have ENERGY to focus- 😈💦

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
trust me, my husband and i have plenty of sex

**emo prince** @warlocking  
did NOT need that image

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
I did

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
sod off, maze, go play angel babysitter or something

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
joke’s on u, NANNY ASHTORETH

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
it’s official!!! I’ll be spending the rest of summer with warlock!!!!! in london!!!! and also with dog and pepper and nat and their bastard cat but oh my god I have two (2) months with my Boyfriend

**emo prince** @warlocking  
🖤🖤💜🖤🖤

**quinn** @quinntessential  
good for u mate!!!

**12 watermelons in a trenchcoat** @crackitycrack  
h- how did u make ur boss let u leave like that

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
trust me, she won’t even notice I’m not there or supposed to be there in the first place until I’m back. the bistro can survive. I have more important things to do now,,,

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
adam young: doing whatever the fuck he wants and convincing the world of it since ‘07

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
gay gang gay gang gay gang gay g-

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
!!!!!!!

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Meanwhile, I am left in Tadfield on my own……

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
pff it’s summer hols, u can visit any time. for me it’s , however, time to shine

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
did you mean: make out with ur bf a Lot now that u can

**emo prince** @warlocking  
trix is right, this is like summer ‘24 ONLY WE CAN KISS NOW??? I can play video games w my best friend and then I can kiss him whenever?? kadajdfsh im Gay

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
this is going to go so WELL 👍🏿 esp considering the flat’s got 2 bedrooms and 1 bed in each 😏

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
he’s the antichrist, he can make more beds

**emo prince** @warlocking  
don’t TELL him that

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Crowley thinks she’s being very clever and cunning by finding a loophole in the snake issue, but really, she’s just sponsored about thirty zoos and their snakes. Yes, you’re very evil, my dear, taking revenge like this, not kind at all, I said no such thing.

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
crowley did WHAT

**monica** @moneyca  
that’s why they only ducking WISH they were a slytherin

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
awwww, she adopted sneks from zoos? ( ᵘ ꒳ ᵘ ✼)

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
im the serpent of eden. I have a snake army. I will cause chaos

**stabby stab** @lowkeyagod  
yes!

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
that scene from harry potter anyone

**emo prince** @warlocking  
ikr 😂😂

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
omg with ur teleporting abilities u can visit them whenever? and bring antoinette along for the ride? snek army of snek children, heck yeah!

**daddy** @kartoffelsalat  
did lucifer’s stepchild just say “heck yeah”

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
yeah and…?

**emo prince** @warlocking  
h

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
go crowley, you kindhearted mess of a demon :)

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
shut up,

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
My wily old serpent. Where would I even be without you?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
in heaven, which, no thanks. me and my army of snek children are much better company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the credit for Crowley adopting snakes from zoos belongs to I_kill_Zombies, it was a brilliant idea, thank you!


	14. Good question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, things came up... aaaand there won't be another update until the 12th cos I'm going away and won't have wi-fi :/ yeah. sorry. hang tight! ily!

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
me: the crema on our espressos dissipated way too quickly. the pressure’s low. it’s going to rain later  
it: rains  
newt: witchcraft  
|  
 **witch mum** @anathema_d  
honey I might have slight occult powers but this is called living in england, u should know better, u’ve been living here longer than me

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
coffee at 10 pm?

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
u don’t have kids

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I could argue otherwise but ok, fair point. enjoy ur coffee, I recommend putting some brandy in it

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
too late, we already went full irish ☕ also snakes don’t count

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
who practically singlehandedly raised warlock?? hmm??? cos it wasn’t his parents that’s for sure. not to mention the them and all the kids I took under my demonic wing over the years. who’s the witch mum here

**emo prince** @warlocking  
anathema, obvsly. ur demon mum & aziraphale is angel dad

**black lives matter** @carmenekwensi  
question. can angels and demons have children together 👀

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I- uh- what, I dunno, why, why are u talking about this

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
I mean,,,,,

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
yeah, crowley, have u ever thougth about… u know… the possibility

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
hmm 🤔 were u born or just like, created out of thin air? cos u can have children with humans, right, look at adam or sabrina or that cousin of theirs

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
arhcangels were born and the rest were created but everyone can have offspring if they arrange the organs right and PLEASE CHANGE TOPIC,

**monica** @moneyca  
ohoho we going full snek panic mode

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ITS NOT FUNNY

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
it is. also get that image out of my fucking head

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
maybe gabriel will insert his own, eh?

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
🖕

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
thank you, but you don’t need to explain how that is done to me, you know

**✝️** **Gabriel ✝️** @ArchangelGabriel  
I-

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
well now yall broke them all, well done 😁😁

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
pepper’s cat goose is making me wonder if naming dog after a different animal rather than dog would make him a different animal and it’s stressing me out, demons pls help

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Good question

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
im just thinking… imagine this tweet out of context

**luke** @lukington  
 _@BRIAN007_ yes I am confusion

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
 _@lukington_ be, we don’t judge

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
oh my god what if you’d named him cat to mess with people and he’d have…… turned into a cat

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
YES HOW DO HELLHOUNDS WORK

**lord of files** @Dagon  
……we shall conduct an experiment

**emo prince** @warlocking  
I can’t believe demons never thought of this akdnsjdfhjs

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I can, I was there

**lord of files** @Dagon  
we named one young hellhound alligator. we now have an alligator. it ate an eric. im keeping it

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
pffffffffff

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
WAIT REALLY?? NICE. I mean, not nice, for the Eric, but this has been bothering me for 2 days, ta

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
wilD

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  


**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
make the trash pandas next

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
I liked things more when we were officially mortal enemies set to destroy the other in battle rather than mortal enemies who think it’s a good idea to send the other a video of a hellhound-alligator eating a doughnut in the middle of an important meeting, thank you very much.

**lord of files** @Dagon  
*thinks of the open phone line we’ve had bw us and ligur since phones became a thing* k

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
Oh, shush.

**Amen** **👼🏿** @amenadiel  
Were you in the middle of an important meeting, or was the alligator? 🤔

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
I think it might have been both? Demons…

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh, I would never 😇

**✝️** **Gabriel** **✝️** @ArchangelGabriel  
Yeah. We know. You’re the reason why this is happening.

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
That would be Mummy Dearest, I think. I thought we’ve established that.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
dnfdsjsk angel I love you so much

**God** @God  
😇

**emo prince** @warlocking  
eden 2.0 🍎🐍 or: adam randomly drove us to az and crowley’s and now we’re staying for a week  
[ _A photo of Adam and Warlock, sitting underneath an apple tree with Antoinette wound around their shoulders._ ]

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
this image is just  


**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
“eden 2.0”

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT-

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ours is better cos we have apple pie, strongbow, monopoly and a beach nearby

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
and crowley even promised not to cheat at monopoly

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
but aziraphale hasn’t :)


	15. ooh, idea

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
angel beat us all at monopoly. and sorry. and various card games. and even catan where u can’t really strategise god fucking dammit. AND HE’S JUST A PRINCIPALITY, NOT EVEN MICHAEL THE WAR STRATEGIST

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
you should know better by now

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
oh I do, we’ve spent centuries playing draughts and backgammon and chess and stuff. I love it when he’s being a bastard. the only game I’m allowed to be queen of is twister sdjhjfbsjfbjs

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
the perks of having a snake spine and noodle limbs

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
I’ve just asked my girlfriend of 7 years, _@smol_potato_ , to marry me. she said yes!!!!!! thank you to _@ajcrowley_ and your twitter cryptid adventures for introducing us 💍👰👰💐🏳️‍🌈💕

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
every time someone asks what’s the fucking point of my twit acc ill show them this, go lesbians

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Aw, how sweet! Congratulations, ladies, may your union be blessed 😇😊🌈

**monica** @moneyca  
GO LESBIANS

**in your dreams** @cannoli_oli  
congrats!!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
haha the feeling when you’ve been in 3 relationships over those 7 years and didn’t manage to make any of em last :’) congrats!

**Tegan** 🌿🌱 @smol_potato  
oh my god penny we have thE BLESSING OF THE QUEER GUARDIAN ANGEL

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
NEW VIDEO: quick and delicious apple delights 🍎 https://youtu.be/tp9sO12ctL   
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
and yes, this was inspired by adam and warlock who said ‘if we have eden 2.0 we have to have apples’ and while ours are nowhere near ripe yet we went and bought a tonne and made shit adam and aziraphale devoured within 2 days

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
damn, I want the serpent of eden to bake me apple tart too #jealous

**coffee & cake **@betty_oconnor  
fitting. also, I like what you’ve done with the pie filling!

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
still tempting people with apples? 😁

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
not to be presumptuous but can we get some of these apple delights at the beginning of the new semester…?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
 _@adalinejames_ that’s improper teacher-student conduct, I like it

**Melissa** @monalissa  
you say eden 2.0, I say write an apple cookbook and make the serpent of eden thing your marketing strategy

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ACTUALLY-

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Let me just point out the irony of someone who has read maybe three books in her entire life writing one…

**little miss chatterbox** @Valerie169  
lmaoo

**emo prince** @warlocking  
wrong. she’s read me bedtime stories when I was her little hellspawn

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
no, I just held open a book and made the stories up

**emo prince** @warlocking  
……I guess that explains the weirdness of them

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
hey, I was being demonically creative and influencing u towards badness!!! or, well. gothness, at least

**emo prince** @warlocking  
*squint* so the few demonless stories about the creation of the stars and aliens on faraway planets and the beginnings of the universe and the seven archangels weren’t u being all nostalgic about your life, huh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
what- i- what? u remember that? weren’t u like, 5

**emo prince** @warlocking  
yea but they were my favourites. and no I’m not letting u live that down :p

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ah, fuck

**lord of files** @Dagon  
alligator the hellhound (hellreptile?) is proving to be an excellent guard of files cos satan he BITES plus the pond i made for him in my office is like obnoxious demon repellent, thi s is brilliant  
|  
 **lord of files** @Dagon  
leviathan called him a personal offence. good. suffer

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
crowley, just now: am *I* a hellreptile?

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
yes, an annoying and incompetent one

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
at your service, your lowness

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
also, cool. did u make any more animals?

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
one (1) evil trash panda and two (2) bastard cats. we already have plenty of cats down here but these are the absolute worst 😈😼

**lord of files** @Dagon  
forget ruling earth, u can have the throne of hell, antichrist boy. youre a morningstar, u qualify

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
nah, think I’ll pass

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
– adam young about the literal throne of hell, 2026

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
as the kids say, mood

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
remember when I traveled in time and almost let a version of me become the queen of hell but then didn’t do it cuz that would be stupid and mess with the laws of time and let lucifer and the demons deal with their own shit themselves? yeah, good choice, adam

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
remember when things went even further south 5 years later, the demons tried to kidnap charlie, I had to go back and asked you to take the throne again and you refused again but helped me anyway because two morningstars are better than one and enough to scare rebelling demons

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
that WAS sort of fun tbh

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
still. I’m saving ‘lord of hell’ as my very last career option, thanks

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
if only there’d been options a billion years ago

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael **  
**There were, actually. To fall or not to fall, that is the question…

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I did not ask for your opinion, mikey

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael **  
**And I did not ask to be called—that.

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
tough bloody luck

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
tfw u made hamlet so popular even angels can make jokes out of the quotes despite will being decidededly downstairs cos we get all the cool people  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ooh idea. someone could ask him to write a sequel set there cos we all know every single hamlet charatcer ended up in hell despite all their theorising and praying and moral dilemmas. as one jake peralta once said: cool motive, still murder  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
him knowing the environemnt would be an added bonus  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I mean hamlet sr. literally SAID he was coming up from hell. could be called hamlet ii: everyone is a ghost now and still has to deal with each other and eternal torment. or not, thats too long and not fancy enough  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
famous dead actors could play in it. and no one on earth would ever be able to see it, haha!!!

**lord of files** @Dagon  
I have no fucking idea how we could ever think that this idiot came up with the spanish inquisition or the world wars when shit like THIS are their real ideas

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
to my defence im drunk. anyway, copyright: anthony j. crowley. tell will that. he knows who I am, pitched some ideas before

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
u said only 50 times

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Look at them, Mx. I-prefer-the-funny-ones Crowley 😇😁

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
u can tone down that angelic delight and pass me more sangria

**✝** **️ Gabriel** **✝** **️** @ArchangelGabriel  
Another idea: more Sound of Music!

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
overruled

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Seconded.

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
fuckin thirded

**✝** **️ Gabriel** **✝** **️** @ArchangelGabriel  
Your opinion doesn’t matter :)

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
hmm i think i remember u saying otherwise in the hotel just this morning


	16. ooh, beach buddies

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
look idk if the cookbook thing was a joke or not but aziraphale already started digging up old apple recipes and about 30 people in yt comments joined in demanding it. whyyyyyyy

**turtleneck kween** @turtelturtle  
cos for someone so goth and lanky you’re surprisingly good at cooking??

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
weren’t u, idk, bored

**candy man** @partymarty  
I’d buy it

**coffee & cake **@betty_oconnor  
 _@partymarty_ same, I already have so many cookbooks they make up two shelves but I know this would be my favourite

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
give it 5 years and u and aziraphale will be bake off judges 😁😁😁

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
shut up people

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I mean, didn’t you say something about Paul Hollywood being yours within a decade a few years back…?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
yes I did, yes I know you seriously want the spot, no I’m not doing it in a million years

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Well, I don’t think there will be a bake-off in a million years anymore. Or the UK, probably.

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
will it make things better or worse if I tell you that you’re right but only slightly cos the great universal bake off revival is a definite hit in the year 1,002,035 and I know cos I competed?

**OH** @MasterOfTheUniverse  
and dropped out first

**space mum** @adventurer_14  
shut it

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Mark that date in our calendars, will you, Crowley?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I meant what I bloody said, angel

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
If I’d known that dating would entail taking a friend to places you like and telling her all the random facts you know and hearing some in return and then having food and discussing what the carbs in our chips do when we eat them, I’d have asked her on a date earlier…

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
oh god she’s rly that passionate about biochem,,  
|  
 **down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
I mean, good for u mate!!! it’s nice to hear u enjoy the stereotypical dating activities and giving them your own wensleydale twist :)))

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
And who’s been doing ‘stereotypical dating activities’ with Nat for the past year…?

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
ahem we went on like 4 dates and then moved into this flat cos we both got into uni of london

**emo prince** @warlocking  
she’s really not joking – warlock ‘third wheel’ dowling

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
we’re gay what do u expect

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
mate!!! nice!!!! is amelia officially your gf then?? pls tell her to get a twitter

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
You and Sara and Nat are already bothering her on snapchat enough :)

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
anyway,,, adam is suspiciously absent

**emo prince** @warlocking  
adam went to take a swim and I’m sitting here trying not to get sunburnt and gazing at him with this sappy ass gay disaster look

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
ugh why does my stepdad have to be so hot  
|  
 **queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
it’s normally a problem but now we’re at the beach and it’s a Problem cuz everyone’s staring and he’s enjoying it, bastard. why, mom, why

**trash** @trishrivera  
i was a bit worried when I read the first tweet ahaha

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
oh ew ew ew no binch I’m just. the mortifying ordeal of sitting next to him and his defined ancient sculpture body on the beach

**emo prince** @warlocking  
haha I know the feeling,, my boyfriend is his sOn

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
ooh, beach buddies

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
u should come here and make the situation even worse #familybeachtrip

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
or u could come here

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
are u seriously asking me to leave santa monica for your cold ass english sea right now

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
………no

also, I’m not coming there, what do u THINK

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
i am very disappointed in you brother. imagine my disappointed face, cuz that’s what i’m doing

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
anyway here’s a sketchie I was kinda embarrassed about cuz he is like my dad but as an artist I had to appreciate the pose + a lil wing practice. I like to call it ‘the devil’s day off’ _@TheDevilOfLA_  
[ _A pencil sketch of Lucifer, wearing swimming shorts and sitting on a blanket on the beach. Hastily drawn small figures can be seen in the background. Lucifer’s wings are extended behind him. They’re taking up half of the picture._ ]

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
1) ooh im love  
2) hoW WEIRD IS IT that this is my gf’s best friends DAD

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
 _@gingealecat_ and the devil but ok u know your priorities love

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I aim to please 😈👼🏻

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
the serpent of eden tempted adam and eve to eat the apple to gain knowledge of good and evil and like knowledge in general, right, so I guess it would make sense that they’d take up teaching when sufficiently bored. that will be all

**Caramel** @CaraTroiaAlonso  
o m g

**brighton up!** @QueenOfBadPuns  
when u put it THAT WAY

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
serpent of eden??

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
did u not hear about the apple thing and ppl joking about them being the serpent of eden or, idk, that snake video, m i c h a e l

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
that makes… sense

**uwu** @someonestopme  
I thought lucifer was the serpent of eden

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
no, he just gets all the bloody CREDIT

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
oh get over it, it’s been more than 6000 years

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
gEt oVeR iT (┛ಸ_ಸ)┛彡┻━┻

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
sore spot huh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
yeah u could say that,,

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
…so when someone asks me how my weekend was I can say I summoned a few demons and it won’t even be a joke, what is my life anymore

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I am NOT a demon, thank you

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
I repeat-


	17. devotion to an aesthetic

**emo prince** @warlocking  
we are back bitches!!! time to do chores :)

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
democracy :)

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
this is what we get for bringing u a WHOLE STRUDEL

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
which is delicious, thank u _@ajcrowley_

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ehh don’t mention it. and make em do chores, they’ve been lying about for a week

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
heyyy

**natasha** @gingeralecat  
men

**emo prince** @warlocking  
ur right 😔

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
dw, we’ll save u some of that strudel 😏

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
snake inspired makeup cos why not  
[ _A photo of Crowley wearing reddish, black-tinted sort of scaly eyeshadow around her eyes and cheekbones and clearly showing her yellow, serpentine eyes._ ]

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
n i c e

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
I’m still in awe of your skills,

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
this is,, oddly meta

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
imagine people thinking those are contacts 🐍🤣

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
can’t u like…… do that with your literal skin

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
shut up, this is more fun

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Crowley really walked into the reptile exhibition at London Zoo, wearing a snake print shirt and that make-up, and sent me this picture. What a ridiculous demon, I love her 😇😈  
[ _A selfie of Crowley and a ball python, who is sitting on a branch behind the glass but looking at the camera. The caption reads ‘a mama and her child’. It’s one of the snakes Crowley has “adopted”._ ]

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
did she just teleport to that zoo to visit some sneks like I said she should?? aww

**nb and proud** @winchesterfann  
that’s what I call devotion to an aesthetic

**Wanda** @transpowerrr  
😍

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
I got that too! adorable :3

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I beg your pardon-

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
She’s right, you’re positively adorable, my dear.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I resent that observation. im scary

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Generally? You can be. Right now? Not a pip.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
pffffhh thanksssss  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
ill be taking my snake and staying at my london flat today

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
the one you’ve been letting out for the last, like, 5 years?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
fuck

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Shall we watch a film later? Have some wine?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
…that’d be great

**emo prince** @warlocking  
in conclusion, I goddamn love having a boyfriend and that boyfriend being adam im like  


**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
did u just-

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
👀

**emo prince** @warlocking  
I did nothin

**emo prince** @warlocking  
our birthdays are less than a month away how bout THAT

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
IT’S GOING TO BE THE 8TH APOCAVERSARY

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Yeah, it happens every year


	18. what is gender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so you may have noticed that I set a final chapter count for this, and there are only two left :') frankly, I don't have that much inspiration for this anymore, and I think it's time to move on and focus on other works/ideas of mine. I might be writing more in this universe—though it would be prose stories related to the characters, maybe one of those outsider POV pieces on the bookshop and the students running it, that kind of thing! because I love those! but for now, I hope you enjoy the rest of this and maybe even return to reread when you need a laugh :) 
> 
> also, there are two new cameos in this one!

**emo prince** @warlocking  
today’s mood: gay and not good enough for my asshole father :)

**twink no. 5** @LukeBatkins  
oh same

**Connor** @28connor  
it’s sad how relatable that is,,

**santa klaus** @ghostboy  
every goddamn day brother  
|  
 **santa klaus** @ghostboy  
except fro the part where he was briefly dead and couldnt throw it in my face ALL the time

**monica** @moneyca  
all the time??

**santa klaus** @ghostboy  
i once died, met god, talked to my dead dad and was kicked back to life cuz she didnt like me. and then the timeline got all messed up bc time travel and hes alive again. also i talk to ghosts

**emo prince** @warlocking  
tbh u and ur siblings win where asshole fathers are concerned lmao mine knows him. and u even win where starting and stopping apocalypses is concerned. glad to be with the british apocalypse gang mate 👍 at least my bf didn’t do it twice

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
hey I’m American and I didn’t do it twice either :))

**emo prince** @warlocking  
my bad. celestial apocalypse gang ftw

**santa klaus** @ghostboy  
that is unFAIR

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
 _@warlocking_ he called again didn’t he

**emo prince** @warlocking  
“hEy sOn of mINe caN wE TaLk” no we cannot u only want to look good in front of the press cuz ur running for president in 2028 and having a nonexistent relationship w ur gay son is the opposite of that  
|  
 **emo prince** @warlocking  
but guess what bitch aziraphale is my dad now and im not interested in making ur campaign look any better cuz we all know its all fake anyways and id rather see anyone but another generic straight white asshole man in that chair

**no. 1 history fan** @haleycometh  
TEA

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
*bows* wreck him warlock. wreck him. and the whole government while you’re at it

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
just say the word-

**pew pew** @BRIAN007  
n

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
relax I’m joking

but just to be clear. I would

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
and you’d have my full support

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
I was wrong. I haven’t acquired three children. it’s four

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
wait is chloe PREGNANT

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
don’t panic, crowley, there will NOT be a third antichrist 🙄 no, every time amenadiel and linda need a babysitter, they give charlie to ME because of the ONE time I calmed him with my devil face and apparently I’m in most of his drawings and we’re doing game nights now

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
aw u love us tho

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
well u did keep stealing dan’s “no #1 dad” mug, amigo

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
karma :)

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
Uriel, over and over: I have not seen THAT coming

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
well neither have I

**✝️** **Gabriel** **✝** **️** @ArchangelGabriel  
And for the record, we wouldn’t _mind_ a third Antichrist. Third time’s the charm, don’t they say? Maybe the world would actually end this time.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
are u kidding me, gabe. with lucifer ACTUALLY parenting the kid together with chloe and his merry band of human, angel and demon friends who ALSO have kids, that would be the MOST incompetent antichrist to date 

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
^^^

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
still. give everyone a warning if it happens?

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
oh it _won’t_ , trust me, we discussed it. what about you, hmm?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
what

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh, I wouldn’t worry about any angel-demon hybrids either, our (mostly) human family is quite enough.

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
so u HAVE brought that up 😏😏

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Let’s just say that a lot of wine was involved. And something that was most definitely not wine.

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
tea?

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Bourbon.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
chugged it from a teacup though

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
pride never ends 🏳️‍🌈 _@PrideBrighton_  
[ _A photo of Crowley and Aziraphale standing in a crowd by the sea, which, together with Brighton Pier, can be seen in the background. Both have the same pansexual and agender and genderfluid badges as seen in London pinned to their clothes. Crowley is wearing a black summer dress, and Aziraphale is dressed in his usual shirt and bow tie, but the bow tie sports the colours of the rainbow. It was a gift from Adam three years back._ ]

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
And we met some of our students, imagine that! They complimented my tie. How wonderful 🌈

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
you’re wearing it again!!! NICE

**the lost airpod** @bichael  
WOO HOO

**child of athena** @adalinejames  
may I just say, I LOVE the new look, dr crowley

**vic** @enbyexcellence  
u are so beautiful I’m crying, how do u do it 😭😍

**corn child** @heckmark  
what is gender

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
a social construct. which I’m cheating at cos I can shapeshift. sorry, humans

**my gender is badass** @alex_fi  
mood

**pfffffff** @sendnoodles  
that’s it that’s how I’m going to come out as genderfluid to everyone from now on

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Ever since Crowley and I have let us be seen together, I’ve been getting this question, and more so recently, so I thought it might be appropriate to answer it. You ask if I have ever presented as female.  
|  
 **Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I mostly don’t identify with any gender, because I’m an angel, and we are naturally sexless. I use he/him pronouns and present as male mostly for others’ sake, but I don’t feel any attachment to it. Really, most people think I’m gay because of a certain feminine side to me.  
|  
 **Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
But no, I have never presented as female before. That doesn’t mean I can’t! All angels and demons can in fact present however they like. So here goes her debut, welcome Lady Aziraphale!  
[ _A photo of female-presenting Aziraphale, sitting on the sofa and wearing only a shirt sans bow tie or waistcoat. Her hair is still short, but her features are notably softer and round in all the different places. Basically imagine Lucy Davis._ ]  
|  
 **Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Crowley took this picture and then ran into the garden. I think she’s--what’s the expression?--lost it. I wasn’t going to keep this form, but on second thought, I think I’d like to see where this goes…

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
oh you look GOOD. poor crowley and her scrawny gay ass

**Tegan** **🌿🌱** @smol_potato  
harold they’re LESBIANS

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
😍

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
thank you for answering THAT question :)

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
aww u really look like an adorable angel now :) with a lot of hidden fury no doubt :)

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
cute! also, this is weird, but you kinda remind me of my aunt Hilda like this 😅🤔

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I may have copied her a little, to be honest. We’d met in London last century and have been corresponding via letter since. Cooking-loving witches make good friends indeed; they live longer than regular humans for one!

**Sabrina** **🔮** @SSpellman  
oh! oh right! what a coincidence, huh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
she’s right I definitely lost it i-  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
soft angel  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
my wife  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’m DEFINTIELY not complaining that aziraphale finally decided to try what being a woman is like, right now, in the 21st century,  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
excuse me while I gather myself and then take that shirt off of her

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Oh dear, what have I done 😇


	19. the party planning committee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I procrastinated while writing this and made picrews of the them's girlfriends + Pepper and Trixie. just because. so here they are: [Pepper](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7ac29fcca0b611d6fb132d3e50adb276/c648637cf2335fff-36/s640x960/b6c026fa464e97c312319e8d8e135dfff7ed5c83.png), [Natasha](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b477742909ebe6d5ed823b58e86e5dc1/c648637cf2335fff-0f/s640x960/3c96c18829be6208f0efde26e17ada2b94311a90.png), [Trixie](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ddc6a1b1449dc3a6695e94f3afbf0f8/c648637cf2335fff-6b/s640x960/dd1df178daf6ec134f664c3ada4889dd51e8f914.png), [Sara](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ff41e5b0cc404d641a7bf7d58e723abe/c648637cf2335fff-69/s640x960/d5de8f7e8759237ca9a2cc04a8d6e12673bcd30c.png), and [Amelia](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bf1ebf7f0b763df98a579849fee1550c/c648637cf2335fff-a4/s640x960/bd3b1ea144d75a6446361e118816b12b87cfd7dc.png)

**Messenger  
squad [ ** **🌍🗡** **️** **🚗💷💻👽🖌️🍣** **]**

11 AUG AT 11:57 AM

**Adam** **🌍  
** sooooo

birthday party

should we have it in Tadfield,  
the flat or Az and Crowley’s?  
@everyone

 **Warlock** **💻  
** the flat

it’s LONDON

we can go to a rave after

or do some other cool shit

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** AGREED

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** but on the other hand there’s  
no convenient outdoor areas  
for barbecuing and stuff

 **Warlock** **💻  
** the roof???

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
The park?

Not for barbecuing, obviously,  
but it’s a convenient outdoor  
area

 **Brian** **🚗  
** we’ve always had them in tadfield  
so y break the tradition?

 **Adam** **🌍  
** we weren’t in uni and didn’t  
have the flat before

 **Brian** **🚗  
** good point

also I’m still jealous that u got a  
week with a&c but I doubt they’d  
want more intruders lmao

they can still come tho obviously

right?

 **Warlock** **💻  
** pfff sure

and anathema and newt and soph

 **Adam** **🌍  
** and Amelia 👀

actually why don’t u add her,  
wensley?

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Uh ok, hang on

Wensleydale 💷 added Amelia Kingsley

Adam 🌍 changed Amelia’s nickname to Amelia ⚗️

**Adam** **🌍  
** welcome to the squad!!!!

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** hi!

 **Brian** **🚗  
** hi amelia

 **Sara** **🍣**  
hi :)))

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** hey girl! welcome to the crazy

 **Warlock** **💻  
** heyyyyy

 **Adam** **🌍  
** warlock’s and my birthday party  
next sat, u in? 😊

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** Hi guys

I think I’m free, sure, why not  
😊😊

 **Warlock** **💻  
** cool :)

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Well, it’s a date then :)

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** 💕💕

 **Sara** **🍣**  
aww

so you’re in this stage now 😄

also I’d do london? tho tadfield is  
closer for brian and me so I  
wouldn’t mind that either

 **Trix** **👽**  
and I’M not invited???????

rude, boys, rude

also nice to meet u @Amelia,  
I don’t think we’ve had the  
pleasure :3 I’m trix and I live  
in la which is the whole reason  
for that

I’m adam’s bio dad’s stepdaughter

do u uhhhhhh Know about his  
dad

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** What should I know 😅 Other than  
them being estranged and Crowley  
being his 

What’s the gender-neutral word for  
aunt/uncle? Sorry, I’m still trying to  
learn

And nice to meet you!

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
It’s… too early @Trix

That’s a difficult conversation,  
you know

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** Now you’re being cryptic

Is there a conspiracy or smth??  
I love conspiracies :)

 **Adam** **🌍  
** nah nothing like that

just some complicated shite

also it’s pibling or parsib? I think?  
but we just use aunt or uncle, she  
says it’s less weird when she’s not  
being weird about being called that  
in the first place. like I said, it’s a  
complicated family with super  
complicated relationships

and sure @Trix you’re invited if u  
can make the Flight

 **Trix** **👽**  
u pick me up?

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I’m not supposed to do that, u  
know that

Crowley can tho

 **Trix** **👽**  
penthouse?

 **Adam** **🌍  
** sure I’ll tell her when we have the  
details

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** Seriously, you’re talking in code,  
I know it 😑👀

 **Warlock** **💻  
** dunno what you’re talking about

 **Adam** **🌍  
** so anyway, London or Tadfield?  
pls vote again everyone

 **Warlock** **💻  
** london

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** london

 **Brian** **🚗  
** tadfield

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** London

 **Trix** **👽**  
london

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
Tadfield

 **Sara** **🍣**  
London?

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** Tadfield I suppose? That’s closer,  
right

 **Warlock** **💻  
** 5:3

well the flat it is then I guess

which makes us, the flatmates,  
the party planning committee

 **Brian** **🚗  
** have u been watching that awful  
american office remake again

 **Warlock** **💻  
** it’s not AWFUL,,

if anything the characters are less  
weird

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** david is more of a wanker than  
michael but otherwise the office  
us doesn’t hold a candle to the  
office uk pfff

they’re both have way too many  
sexist, racist and homophobic  
jokes but at least ours is relatable  
sometimes and the people act  
like real people

 **Trix** **👽**  
excuse u the office us is the best  
show after tgp and b99

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** u haven’t seen the original

 **Adam** **🌍  
** let’s not digress, ok

yes, we’re the party planning  
committee, mostly cos it’s OUR  
party. we also have to clean but  
oh well

that future us’ problem

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** well said

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** Hey, I’m confused. You’re  
having a joint bday party?

 **Warlock** **💻  
** yea our bday is on the same day

there was a hospital mixup, that’s  
how we met

I was raised by adam’s aunt and  
uncle instead of him and he was  
raised by my bio parents

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** That sounds like something from  
a TV show, wtf 😂 Especially  
since you’re dating now 😂

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I KNOW

I think is was fate

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** or your meddling grandma 😏😇

 **Adam** **🌍  
** same thing

 **Nat** **🖌** **️  
** in case u haven’t got it yet, these  
people are all totally bonkers

I’ve known them for a year and  
I still feel like I can’t understand  
even a sliver of what they say and  
what they’ve been through

 **Sara** **🍣**  
two years. and same. my third eye  
has been opened

and once you’re in you don’t leave  
so here’s to forever #gfsquad

 **Brian** **🚗  
** ❤️

 **Amelia** **⚗** **️  
** That’s not scary at all

But I like to think that I’ll?  
Hopefully? Stick around? I mean  
it’s really new and everything but  
god I really like Wensley and  
where this is going so far, he’s  
one of the few actually decent  
blokes I’ve ever met. And he’s  
smart, which, you know, bonus :)  
Even if he’s into economics and  
that stuff

 **Wensleydale** **💷**  
I know almost nothing about  
chemistry, so I’d say we’re even

And yeah. I really like you too  
and I can’t wait to see you again  
at the party 💜

 **Brian** **🚗  
** “even if he’s into economics and  
that stuff” mood

 **Adam** **🌍  
** yeah that’s been us practically  
since we met him

well, that was in primary, but still

god I still remember when pep  
and I fought on the first day and  
then instantly became friends  
forever

 **Pepper** **🗡** **️  
** it be like that sometimes 🤷🏿

now get your arse off the sofa and  
get to the kitchen, we’ve got to  
plan this paaaaartaaaaayyy

I’m still capable of kicking it if u  
don’t 😘

 **Adam** **🌍  
** I’m counting on u 😉

and for the record, this’ll be the  
best 19th birthday ever, cos we’re  
officially d a t i n g 💕

 **Warlock** **💻  
** U FUCKIGN BET

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

* * *

**emo prince** @warlocking  
it just hit me that my and my bf’s birthday is ON THE SAME DAY which is a bit weird but also AWESOME cos we will always have joint parties and give each other gifts like  
  
|  
 **emo prince** @warlocking  
and if we actually like,, stay together and get married and have kids and stuff it’s going to get HILARIOUS. not that I have that kind of hope for the future or even want to do that. u know, hypothetically

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
hypothetically

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
u know what else is it? inconvenient for your beloved friends’ savings and gift-choosing abilities

**emo prince** @warlocking  
u only say every year

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
at least we weren’t born on christmas 😁

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
an antichrist born on christmas, now THAT would be hilarious

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
so aziraphale and I ran into a couple of neighbours today and lemme tell u, their CONFUSION when they saw two woman-shaped beings instead of the usual was PRICELESS. the blinking guy meme personified. almost reminds me of that time we first moved in kdsfjsfs  
|  
 **walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
anyway I love my wife and so does she apparently sooooo guess who’s going shopping for clothes :)

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
nice

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
Aziraphale Discovered the Female Orgasm

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
well. yes. but not just that u know. I’ve been telling her it’s fun to play around with gender presentation for CENTURIES and she’s finally discovering that for herself cos she’s no longer bound by the rigid norms of heaven and gabriel’s disapproving gaze

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
that’s the spirit >:)

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
AND YES KEEP CONFUSING PPL UR DOING AMAZING

**santa klaus** @ghostboy  
life goals

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones **  
**;)


	20. celestial fam forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this is it! thank you for reading, giving me ideas, and leaving all the kind words. it's been amazing. ♡

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I bought new clothing only seven years after I bought the last, I think that’s my personal record! Crowley must be very proud of herself.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
oh I am. I call it success. and I call u gorgeous even if it’s all neutral beigey colours cos heaven forbid u wear a spot of yellow or something

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
I could say the same thing about you, my dear.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’m a demon, there’s a difference

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
yeah have u ever seen a demon wear YELLOW

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
actually, in hell loops-

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
And just so you’d know, I did buy that pair of loose mustard pantaloons with little white flowers on them, because Heaven does indeed not forbid anymore.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
did u really just use the word ‘pantaloons’

**I’m a doctor now :3** @anitamamacita  
this feels like it probably should have a bigger impact than it does tbh

**no. 1 history fan** @haleyscometh  
yeah, what happened to the stuffy bookstore owner who wore the same coat since the 1800s

**Penelope** **🌿🌱** @PlantMum  
crowley

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
and being around us gen zers almost all the time

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
And most importantly, my old clothes don’t fit this body. I thought that was obvious.

**emo prince** @warlocking  
crowley wears women’s clothes all the time and pepper owns a LOT of mens tees so that line’s a bit blurry 🤷‍♂️

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
*wipes fake tear* we raised u well

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
*ed sheeran voice* take me back to london 🎶🎉

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
gimme 5 mins and leave the balcony door open

**trash** @trishrivera  
u make it sound like ur flying with wings and not on a plane lmao

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I am. how else would I get her from la to london to a party that starts in half an hour

**trash** @trishrivera  
what

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
magic

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
the antichrists are 19 :)  
[ _A photo of the inside of the flat. Warlock and Adam are sitting on the sofa, arms around their shoulders. Anathema and her daughter are sitting in an armchair, and on the floor is Dog. Behind them stand more people—Brian and his girlfriend, Trix, Crowley with Antoinette wound around her shoulders, and two university friends of Warlock’s. Some of them are holding beers. There is a simple cake on the coffee table, which reads “Happy birthday, Adam & Warlock” with the names encircled by a heart. Aziraphale had made it with Crowley’s help._]

**E. Lo** @ellatheawesomestcsi  
aww u guys. so cute!!!! happy birthday!!!!!! 🎉🎈🎂🍾

**space gay** **🌈** @lesbill  
happy birthday fellow disaster gays :) and happy apocalypse anniversary too ofc :)

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA  
happy birthday, son and boyfriend. do enjoy it and make me proud >;)

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
They grow up so fast…

**emo prince** @warlocking  
the cake is r a i n b o w omg I never got one fo those before !!!!

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
I reckon it’s for putting our shit together :)

**12 watermelons in a trenchcoat** @crackitycrack  
plain and emotionless on the outside, rainbow on the inside. fitting

**emo prince** @warlocking  
I’d say shut it but actually,  


**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
oh look. its been 8 years since the apocafailure. I still hate this

**lord of files** @Dagon  
same

**Michael** @ArchangelMichael  
You’re demons, you hate everything.

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
but we like to COMPLAIN

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
pfft u got a boyfriend out of it. and without earth there’d be no twitter and no cheetos and no decent booze

**Lord of Memes** @beelzebub  
u may be right but that doesn’t mean I have to like it

**lord of files** @Dagon  
oh look they don’t even deny it anymore

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I dunno what to do with that information,,

aziraphale and I took 6022 Y E A R S

**✝️** **Gabriel** **✝** **️** @ArchangelGabriel  
Sucks, huh

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
yea because of YOU. ur lucky I’m on my way to being durnk right now

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
Yes, Gabriel, you are being very hypocritical here. But what is new, hmm? Enjoy your evening… not.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
😲 coming from u, that’s savage, angel

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
And you love me very much, I know, my dear.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I bloody doooooooo

**emo prince** @warlocking  
cake & grilled stuff eaten, children and fam home…… and we’re going clubbing! which is smth u can’t do when u have a party in tadfield so unless im passed out shirtless on the sofa with feet in someones face and the mother of all hangovers waiting to be miracled away sth is wrong

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
bold of u to think I’ll even be in a state to miracle it away in the first place love

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
sod off, u have your celestial metabolism thingy

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
im honestly havign the most fun since my quinces guys ilysm

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
cos this is England, you’re 18 and u can legally drink ;)

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
no no no, mom & dad & lucifer let me on my bday, but IM ALSO CELEBRATING THA I GOT ACCEPTED TO UCLA’S ART PROGRAM AND I ACTUALLY GOT COMMISSIONS AND I CAN B HERE W U GUYS!!!!!!!!!! WE DON’T HANG OUT IRL ENOUGH

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
My head hurts from all the capslock

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
SORRY

**Wensleydale** @like_the_cheese  
Though it might be the cider

**down with the patriarchy** @peppergaladriel  
and omg you’re right u should move here or smth

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
not that I dont wanna leave this shithole of a country but I can’t :((( y can’t I have wings tho

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
humans don’t work that way

**witch mum** @anathema_d  
at least u have a stepdad and aunts and uncles who do, 99.9% of the population aren’t so lucky

**Save the Planet** **🌍** @AdamYoung  
celestial fam forever!!!!

**queen of mars** **👽** @TrixArt  
celestial fam forever 👼

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
smth adam said has just made me realise that yeah sure I’m stuck with my siblings and fotmer employers forever but u know who I’m also literally stuck with forever for eternity??? aziraphale. my angel. my bastard in tartan. how am I sp lucky 😭

**sad boi** @peteyboiii  
adkndfjdssg

**in your dreams** @cannoli_oli  
get a man who looks at u the way crowley looks at aziraphale

**monica** @moneyca  
aw it’s sappy drunk crowley, being so in love u can feel it through the screen

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
am not

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
aw fuck I am. and I dont care. I just want to hold aziraphale forever. I’d marry her right now if we weren’t already married

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
And I you, darling.

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I’m- dead

**Bookworm** @tea_and_scones  
No, you’re just drunk and dramatic. Do sober up a touch and come back to bed?

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
yep, this is an eternity I can get behind

**maze** **🔪🔪🔪** @mazikeen  
did anyone else spot the innuendo or

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
I did, shut up, mind your own demonic business

**Lucifer Morningstar** @TheDevilOfLA **  
**well, I mean, anything can happen

**walking panic noodle** @ajcrowley  
goodBYE

**Author's Note:**

> **comments and kudos sustain me <3**
> 
> you can find me on tumblr, either at @crowleyaj or @doctor-missy
> 
> if you have any prompts or suggestions for this fic, please hit me up!


End file.
